Heart Like a Dog

The Good, the Bad, and the Oh My God of living with dogs!

WTF Wednesday – The People In My Neighborhood

By

You all know about the dog people in my neighborhood. There are a couple of somewhat savvy owners, but mostly….well, there’s no nice way to put this.

They’re dumb asses.

Oh yeah, it’s THAT post. Where I share an encounter with one of the dogs/DADO’s in my neighborhood.

We’ve had encounters with this dog TWICE before.  (You can read about them here: First Encounter and Second Encounter.)

The dog is outside constantly, and you can hear him barking as soon as you turn down the street. Apparently there are two gates, one on the side of the house where we walk, and one at the front of the house. When he sees something of interest to him, he runs between the two gates. Biting and jumping to secure his freedom.

It was early February, and about 5:30/5:45 in the evening. It was still dark, and Delilah and I were walking past the Jackal, and he was barking.

Of course.

We had just crossed in view of the gate, when from the corner of my right eye, I saw this white blur streaking towards us. I don’t think I had time to warn Delilah, it happened so fast. Suddenly The Beast was upon us.

Maybe he used his pea brain and jumped that gate.

Since it was dark, I have no idea how the Barbarian escaped the fence. Maybe he squeezed his fat ass out between the gate, or maybe he got lucky and jumped the fence.  How he managed is neither here nor there. He got out of the fence and attacked Delilah.

I have a routine when an off-leash dog is heading our way.

If I have notice, I stop walking, and take the wait and see approach. This gives me time to try and put some distance between us.

When I don’t have notice, (such was the case with Tito,) I do a number of things.

  • I shout. “STOP,” “NO,” “GO BACK,” “GET IN YOUR YARD.”
  • I puff myself up to try and look bigger.
  • I stamp my feet.
  • I will take a few steps towards the dog, while stamping my feet, puffing myself up, and shouting, “STOP,” “NO,” “GO BACK,” “GET IN YOUR YARD.”

Since Tito was already attacking Delilah, I started shouting, but that didn’t work. So I did the next best thing.

I screamed. I screamed as loud as I could.

And when I screamed I discovered two things.

  1. It doesn’t matter how loud you scream in my neighborhood in February, no-one is going to come help you.
  2. Even if you’ve used the bathroom BEFORE you went on your walk, the force of a scream has effects on your bladder that you were not even aware of.

Yeah, I peed my pants. Right there in the street.

Recap of what’s going on at this point. My dog is fighting on the side of the road with a little demon spawn, I am right next to her, screaming and wetting my pants and trying to get Delilah away from the spinning, biting Tasmanian Devil.

After I got over the shock of that first burst of urine, I figured, what the hell? I have nothing to lose, I’ve already pissed myself. So I kept screaming.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, but was really only a minute, two cars came up the road, and thankfully, the first car saw me and slowed to a stop.  It slowly inched forward and using the car as a barrier, I somehow managed to get Delilah across the street.

Neither of those cars stopped to see if me or my dog were okay.

When I looked back, Tito was nonchalantly taking a piss on the side of the road, acting like nothing happened.

Fucker.

Well you know the dog’s motto : If you can’t eat it or play with it, piss on it and walk away.

 

That’s when I screamed at the house, “Get your dog you fucking moron.

Then, I took my wet dog, and my wet pants and made my way home.

As for the DADO, I figured he must have come out, and found his dog outside the fence.

I’m mean. Despite the fact that Delilah had once again been attacked by Attila the Hun, I couldn’t help but giggle at the thought of this dim bulb coming outside and seeing his dog outside the fence.

Well he must have, because it looks like he made some fortifications on his gate.

SO…Tito was out last week on our evening walk, and coincidentally, so was his owner.  As we passed, the DADO said to the dog, “Tito, stop.”

When opportunity knocks….

I said, “He came out of the fence a couple of weeks ago.”

“He did?”

I wanted to say, you dumb fucker, you damn well KNOW he came out of his fence because you had to have found him.

Instead I said, “Yes, came right out of the fence and attacked my dog.”

And do you know what this DADO said?

Do you?

Well I was going to tell you, but I’d really rather hear some of your guesses. To make it a bit more fun, I’ll give away a $10 Amazon gift card to the first person who guesses what the dumb ass said.  (If you don’t live in the US, that’s okay, as long as you have Amazon in your country, go for it!) I will go by the time stamp on the comment if there are two of the same.  Also, I’ll let you know what he did say in Sunday’s post.

Hint, if you are a long-time reader and been following the DADO’s, this one really had me dumbfounded.

So…..what do you think Gerry said to me, when I told him Tito had attacked Delilah? Remember, this is WTF Wednesday. 🙂

No, My Dog Can’t Meet Your Dog. No.

By

It’s been a while since I shared a dog encounter story.  Ya’ll know where I live, it’s not like they haven’t been happening, believe me, they have. It’s just sometimes I have to ‘percolate’ them for a bit. 🙂

DADO Capital of Connecticut

There’s a woman who lives on the street behind my house. She has a mini Schnauzer, “Bumper.” This dog barks like crazy when we pass the house, and when we pass her on a walk, she’s at the end of her leash, dragging her owner, and making all kinds of noises.

They live across the street from a house with two dogs in an e-fence and these dogs bark and run the yard, every time we pass. Every. Time.  One day this woman complimented me on Delilah, because the two fools were barking like crazy, and Delilah sailed by like nothing was happening. During that conversation, the woman told me she had chosen her dog because it was a ‘guard dog,’ and would warn her if someone was around. I can attest to the fact the dog barks, whether it’s on a lead outside, or sitting in the window. I can also verify, that the woman never checks to see what the dog is barking at. Not sure what the purpose of getting a dog that barks is, if you are not, in fact, going to check on that barking dog….but I digress.

Last week, Delilah and I were taking our afternoon walk, when I saw the woman coming out of her yard with her dog.

I immediately stopped, so I could determine which way she was headed. If she had gone the way we were heading, I would have hung back and let her get ahead of me, then continued on our way. But, instead, she came out of the yard and headed straight towards us, so I turned around and popped into a side street.

As she passed the entrance to the street, she thought it would be a good opportunity to talk to me. I kept Delilah at a safe distance, while Bumper huffed, and puffed, and pulled on the leash, and the woman spoke about the storm we’d just had, and it looks like one of her Arborvitae took a hit, and the first thing she did after getting power back on was make a cup of coffee, and her dog just wanted to meet my dog, and on and on and on.

Dear dog, Make. It. Stop.

Finally, she went on her way.  I knew we were going to end up meeting again, and now my priority became, getting us to a ‘safe’ house, while we waited for them to pass.

Lucky for us, we made it our neighbor’s house, and Delilah and I popped into their driveway to wait for Bumper and his mom to pass.

Except they didn’t.

No, no, Bumper’s mom decided (once again) that she’d stop and chat with me. Mind, Delilah is being SO good throughout both encounters. While Bumper, is still on the end of her leash, only this time, she’s dragging her mom closer and closer to us.

Then the mom says, “Can they meet?”

My response was strong and firm, “No.”

Then I went on to explain that sometimes Delilah is snarky, especially on leash. (Side not, why? Why do I feel like I have to explain to someone why my dog can’t meet theirs? Why?)

Now, if someone told me no, I’d be like, “Okay. See ya,” and I’d be on  my way.

But not this woman, no she kept right on chatting, and then, when she finally started walking away from us, she saw a HUGE snowman the kids next door had made, and had to shout back at me to see if I had seen it, and to ooh and ahh over it.

Chatty Cathy.

I wanted a diaper. Then I wanted to poop it.

How do you handle such encounters?

Age Brings Challenges

By

Living with a dog who is slowly losing her sight has its challenges.

Hubby and I have always suspected Delilah didn’t see well, but since being diagnosed with Endothelial Decompensation, we’ve noticed even more of a decrease in sight. We suspect it is the main reason she tends to take fingers along with treats.

It’s so sad to me when I see her staring blankly, but intently at the wrong spot. But even with my sadness, I can still find humor in certain situations.

I’ve said it many times, some of the funniest things my dogs do, happen when there is no camera around. Like one night last week.

Most of Delilah’s night walks are still in the dark. I do bring a strong light, but I find it easier for me to adjust eyes to the dark, and easier for Delilah when the light isn’t shining in her eyes. I use the light when a car is heading our way, or for when she stops to poop.

This particular night she decided to stop near a fence. It was what I believe is called a rail fence. There are wooden posts in the ground, and then two wooden posts about two to three feet apart, that insert into the posts forming a type of fence.

As I said, Delilah was very close to the fence, and I was just standing there with my light on, waiting for her to finish (she’s also a ‘kicker’ and she’s hit me with grass or dirt on more than one occasion, so it’s just best to wait until she’s done.)  When she finished, she turned to her right, (instead of her left) and whacked her head on the fence, and then stepped in her own poop.

Like you’ve never misjudged distance!! Give me a break, Mama!

 

 

I related the story to Hubby and we got a good chuckle  out of it, because really, what else can you do?

You make me laugh (or smile), the sweet, funny, loving things my dogs do that make me laugh or smile.

What did your pet do to make you smile or laugh this past week?

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...