Free to good home. We just had a baby and I don’t have time for the dog.

You’ve seen the ads on Craig’s list or the local papers.  And if you’re a dog lover it raises your blood pressure, gets you all kinds of pissed off and spouting lines like, “Are you going to get rid of the first child once you have your second?”

The sad reality is people get rid of their dogs far too frequently when they have children. Or the dog simply becomes a nusiance, just another responsibility in a busy and overwhelming life.

My darling AJ (Pup Fan to you, Thelma to my Louise) sent me a message on Facebook on Monday with a link she’d read that fired her up.  (I don’t wish to provide the link as I don’t want to give this blog any more traffic.  Pup Fan has some awesome quotes and summarizes the post quite well in hers.  Go read that.)  In this post the woman who absolutely adored her dog had children and her poor little Velvel fell by the wayside.  He became somewhat of a thorn in her side.

Pup Fan wrote a beautiful post, “Do you have to choose between having a dog and having kids .”  There is some great discussion on this post and I encourage you to read the post and comments.

Pup Fan asked me to weigh in, as a person who has had a dog and children.  The sad thing is, I could see so much of myself in the post.

Remember yesterday’s post where I said to Sampson, “Before there was you, I wasn’t me”?  Sampson changed me from a dog owner, to a dog lover.  And yes, there really is a difference.

Before I had Sampson I owned dogs.  Now I am owned by dogs.

I’ve had dogs my entire life.  As an adult I’ve had four, Buffy and Roxanne (at different times) and Sampson and Delilah.  And if I could turn back time, I would want do-overs for Buffy and Roxanne.

There is no nice way to say this.  I was a shitty dog owner.

 The last picture of Roxanne.

Hubby always said she was a stupid dog.  But I say we were the stupid ones.  We had three kids with active lives and we put absolutely no time into Roxanne.  She was loved.  Yes, she was.  But she didn’t have the life she deserved.

And poor Buffy.  We were kids having kids raising a puppy on old school traditions.  I don’t need to say anymore.

After reading the original post my heart broke for Velvel and it broke for Roxanne and for Buffy too. And if it’s any consolation to Pup Fan, some day AB will feel badly too.  Because there are many times I cry for Buffy and Roxanne and for the lives they could have had.

I’m past my child-bearing years now (thank God!) but we do have grandchildren.  And our grandchildren came after Sampson and Delilah.  Our grandchildren are being raised around our dogs and our grandchildren will know Sampson and Delilah are part of our family.  As our grandchildren grow and develop interests and participate in different activities our lives will change.

But not our love for our dogs.

I see Pup Fan’s post as well as the original post as a good thing.  It is encouraging great conversation.  People are thinking.  Adding a dog or a child to your life is a big responsibility.  It is a life long commitment and one that you should have discussion about! How will things change for the child/dog when the dog/child arrives?  Who will assume what responsibilities and for whom?  These are important questions people.

Yes you can have children and dogs, but it requires time and commitment on your behalf.  But I can assure you, it is time and commitment well invested.

Did you read the original post?  Pup Fans?  Is there anything you can add to the conversation?