Heart Like a Dog

The Good, the Bad, and the Oh My God of living with dogs!

My Dog Ate What? – WTF Wednesday

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You've heard this one right?

This time it’s me.

A couple of weeks ago I took the owners of a  sock eating Great Dane to task. In my post I asked, “Do these people pay attention to their dog at all?”

Turns out, my dog ate something I wasn’t aware of.

Last week I’m walking the dogs when Sampson needs to do his pooping business.  As I’m standing there watching (really, you have to pay attention people) I see a poop come out and it had lots of grass in it, and something blue. 

Yeah, BLUE!  WTF!! I took a quick look as I picked it up and at first glance it looked like a gum packet.  Odd, but not impossible, but I’m standing on the side of the road, with two crazy dogs so I couldn’t examine it more closely.  I closed the bag and went on my way.

Curiosity is a funny thing.  I was consumed by that poop the whole way home, sort of like a kid in the candy store with a dollar in my pocket.  In fact that poop bag practically spoke to me the entire way home.  Open me, open me, you know you want to.  See what treasures I contain.  (I admit, treasures might not be the best word to use in this particular instance.)  The point is,  I was just itching to open the bag to see what Sampson could possibly have eaten.

As soon as I got into the yard I opened the bag.

No I did not take a photo and you are welcome.

There was something blue alright but it turns out it wasn’t a gum packet.  It was one of those little white and blue packets that you find in freeze-dried treats.  These little packets are generally made of one of three things; iron oxide, silicon or charcoal.  The only one that presents any danger to your pet is the iron.  But seeing as I didn’t know this yet, I left the bag on top of the garbage bin, just in case the vet needed to see it And then I placed a call to my vet.

I said, “You guys must wonder if I watch my frickin’ dogs at all!”

The vet tech laughed and said, “We don’t think that at all!”  Then I heard her whisper to the other tech, “It’s Jodi Stone, guess what her dog ate this time?” 

The other tech said, “Wait a minute let me look up her history.” And yet another one said, “I’ve got $5 it’s Delilah and she ate chocolate.”

That conversation really didn’t happen, at least not when I could hear it.

Long story short, since Sampson had passed the packet and was acting fine, there was nothing to be concerned about.

When Hubby got home I told him what I’d found.   Of course he wanted to see for himself.  (It’s human nature I tell ya!) Hubby and I both had WTF expressions on our faces because Sampson IS NOT the dog that eats stuff.  Literally I can set a plate of food on the floor in front of him and tell him to leave it and walk away and he won’t touch it.

We finally figured out it was from the package of Freeze-dried tripe that we use for their meals.  Unbeknownst to us, it must have fallen out and because it smelled like Tripe, well Sampson ate it.

I guess Sampson figures if Delilah can eat Balsamic Vinegar spiders, he can eat tripe flavored silicone packets.

Really? You HAD to go there? WTF is wrong with you Mama?

Really? You HAD to go there? WTF is wrong with you Mama?

A Great Dane Ate 43 Socks – WTF Wednesday

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Welcome to WTF Wednesday.  The day where I read and review news stories about animals and generally ask WTF was the human thinking?

You've heard this one right?

You’ve heard this one right?

Oregon dog eats 43 socks. 

43 socks. A three-year-old Great Dane ate 43 socks.

I have so many questions.  SO MANY.

Do these people pay attention to the dog at all?  Whose turn was it to watch the dog?  Who does the laundry in your house?  Didn’t you wonder where all those socks were?  How many pairs of socks do you own?  What was the time frame, I mean did the dog get up one morning and eat 43 socks?   Did the dog stop eating his regular food because he has a sock fetish?  And finally, last but not least, WTF?

Let’s look at these questions one by one. 

Do these people pay attention to the dog at all?   I mean wouldn’t you notice?  The dog has a sock.  The sock is gone.  Where is the sock?   Hey puppy, I see you have a sock in your mouth. Shit, where’d that sock go?  You didn’t eat that sock did you?

My reality.  Sampson was being playful last Thursday.  He had the little squeaky from one of his toys, he picked it up in his mouth and threw it to me.  I threw it back.  We did this three or four times.  Then I threw the squeaky and he opened his mouth, but didn’t toss the squeaky back.  I screamed, “Drop it, drop it” and shoved my hand in his mouth.  The squeaky was not there.  I called the vet. As I was on the phone waiting to find out whether I should make him vomit or not I found a little squeaky on the floor. Both Hubby and I are fairly certain that he did NOT swallow a squeaker.  But it’s filed in the back of my mind, just in case he starts acting weird. (And for those of you who are curious, the answer is do not make him vomit.  Vomiting could cause the squeaker to lodge in his esophagus on the way back up.)

Sorry, my point is, I was watching my dog!!

Whose turn was it to watch the dog?   I blame the wife.  I mean we all know women pay more attention than men do, men are easily distracted, especially if the TV is on.

My reality.  Me to Hubby, how did this paper towel get torn up?  Hubby, I don’t know.  Me, what do you mean you don’t know?  You are sitting right in front of it!  Hubby pausing the TV, hush woman, The Big Bang Theory is on.

Who does the laundry in your house? Wouldn’t the person doing the laundry notice socks were missing?  Hmm…looks like Sally wore one sock this week.  NOT!

My reality.  Me.  I do the laundry in the house.  I pay attention to what I’m washing. When I’m short a sock I know about it.  Shit, come to think of it, where is that blue sock?  Delilah, Delilah, baby girl, come here!!

WHAT? Socks? Siriusly? Who in their right mind eats socks? Ohh..it was a Dane you say? Right.

WHAT? Socks? Siriusly? What dog in their right mind eats socks? Ohh..it was a Dane you say? Well that explains it.

Didn’t you wonder where all those socks went? Like, hubby goes to work every day, every day he changes his socks.  You do laundry once a week, why then aren’t there fourteen socks in the laundry?

My reality.  Gee I know Hubby wore a pair of socks every day this week, how come there are only three in the hamper?  Where’s that damn dog?

How many freaking pairs of socks do you own? Where do you store them?  Do you have a dresser just for socks?  Inquiring minds want to know.

My reality.  I barely have enough socks to last me a week.  If I were missing a dozen…well I wouldn’t have any.

What was the time frame, I mean did the dog get up one morning and eat 43 socks or did this happen over time?  Gee, I’ve been noticing that Fido has come out of the bedroom every morning for the last month with a sock in his mouth.  Where does the sock go?  Or gee, did you see the six packs of socks I just opened?  I know I put them somewhere.

My reality. When my dogs have anything in their mouth I’m paying attention. Delilah, drop that cookie!  I said drop it and don’t even think of trading it for a napkin.  Napkins are designed to wipe the outside of your mouth, not butt floss for the inside.

Did the dog stop eating his regular food because he has a sock fetish? I mean, socks are material. Material absorbs fluid.  If you add two plus two to forty three, I get that stomach has no room for kibbles.

My reality.  Delilah does not eat her food.  Shit, I better call the vet, something is wrong with this dog.

WTF?  No really, WTF?  I could see one sock, maybe two, but forty three? 

Funny enough, the owners of the Great Dane declined to identify themselves  I’m not surprised really, a dog that can eat 43 socks could probably win a pie eating contest. 

Apparently this story was submitted by a veterinarian for a contest called “They Ate What?” The scary thing is a rock eating frog took first place.  I’m not even touching who was watching that frog.

Doggie Doo

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Have you been to a toy store recently?

Typically when I shop in a toy store I have a specific item I’m looking for for my grandchildren.  I go into the store, head right to the specific area, grab what I need and turn around and head right back out.

That all changed last Friday when my sister and I took our four-year-old niece shopping for her birthday.

My sister was looking for games to play with our niece in our hotel room, which is how I came across this.

The dog is smiling because he feels ten pounds lighter after taking a major dump.

The dog is smiling because he feels ten pounds lighter after taking a major dump.

I stood in the aisle at Toys R Us

What the fuck is wrong with people?

What the fuck is wrong with people?

I couldn’t control myself, I knew it was wrong but it was like my hands were being controlled by something other than my mind.  I picked up the game and turned it over.

Let's see what the game description says.

Let’s see what the game description says.

Feed and walk your little pup.  When he makes a mess you clean it up!

My best guess was the ‘game’ involved feeding the dog something along the lines of play doh which would then come out the other end.

Once again it was like my fingers were detached from my brain.  I youtubed it.

GAH it’s even worse than I thought!  Do you see the excited looks and the clapping that’s going on? How about the joy on their faces as they pump that little handle and point at his doggy ass?

Do you think that will change the first time they stoop down to pick up a real doggy ass bomb?  Or the first time the bag breaks and they juggle dog doo with their bare hands?

I know, I know, it’s teaching responsible dog ownership, but seriously folks, I think you’re pitching this product to the wrong age group.

As all this rushed through my mind I happened to glance over at the game right next to Doggie Doo.

Honestly, what kind of messages are we teaching our children?

Honestly, what kind of messages are we teaching our children?

I stuck my hands in my pocket and walked away.

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