There are many sporting events one can compete with their dog in.  Rally, Hunting, Herding, Obedience, Agility, Freestyle, are a few that come to mind.  I would even argue that showing one’s dog in the ring is considered a competition.  Imagine all of these events under one roof, in a two or three-week period.

One would definitely include the above events in a Canine Olympics competition.

But what of the lesser known skills?

Could you picture some of the less promoted, but not less important skills?

Skills like:

The Butt Sniff.

Commentator 1: Delilah’s in the ring next, watch her on this technique, it’s just about perfect, she approaches the dog, carefully and cautiously she stretches out her head, nose in, the sniff is done, she turns.  Oh no!  She deviated from her dismount to inspect his manly bit. 

Commentator 2: The judges are definitely going to take points off for that. What a shame, she was favored for the gold too.

Marking

Commentator 1: Sampson’s in the ring now, notice how he proceeds slowly, taking a minute to sniff each bush, making sure he’s in the right spot.  Yes! He’s found it, now watch.  He has to be careful he doesn’t raise his leg too high, raising his leg too high will result in poor aim and if he misses the bush, they’ll take points off.  Yes! He nails it.

Commentator 2: I don’t know Jim, it seems to me his leg was a little shaky on the dismount and I think he might have been peeing, not just marking.

Drooling

Commentator 1: Entering the ring for this event is Leroy, note how the majority of competitors in this event are Newfoundlands, St. Bernard’s and Labs, not many dog breeds drool like these guys.

Commentator 2: Leroy has seen the judge sitting with the plate of food.  Let’s watch.

Commentator 1: Ugh, that’s disgusting, did you know that a dog could actually have a drool hang that low?  I think I’m going to be sick, excuse me a minute.

Commentator 2:  With drool like that, Leroy’s a shoe in for the gold.  You okay, Jim?

People Approach

Commentator 1: Entering the ring here is Honey, what a sweet girl she is. I had an opportunity to speak with Honey’s companion just a bit earlier and I can assure you, this dog will medal in this event. 

Commentator 2: See how Honey sits so politely waiting to approach the judge?  She is looking to her companion for permission.  Her companion has completed her greeting of the judge and has given Honey approval to approach.  Notice how carefully Honey does this, setting her head just below the judge’s hand allowing the judge to approach at her own pace.

Commentator 1: You can’t greet any better than that, I bet she gets full marks. 

Mud Scarfing

Commentator 1: One of the few timed competitions in these Canine Olympics, this a new sport just added this year.  Not many people are aware of this, but mud scarfing is an acquired taste, not very many dogs are skilled enough to enter this contest.

Commentator 2: Entering the ring now is Shiva the dog, you’d be hard pressed to find a better mud scarfer than Shiva. Watch this tornado on a leash, she drags her owner over and immediately begins scarfing that mud.

Commentator: I think that’s a new world record.

Delilah has skills.  She has mad skills.

Yes, she can do a decent butt sniff (although she does tend to go straight for the manly bits, once the initial butt sniff is done) and she can mark with the best of them, and drooling, yes she could give Leroy a run for the money. She’s decent at approaching people but mud scarfing has never been her thing.

Her real, gold-medal winning skills would be in:

Chewing

She can find things to chew that you didn’t even think were chewable.  Since we recycle in this house, many of the items she finds are items she plucks from the dish drainer.

Like the Pomi sauce container, I found destroyed on the floor one day when I came home from work.

The throw rug is down to cover the stain from the salmon oil container she destroyed.

Or, like last Saturday when I woke up at midnight because it felt like Delilah was chewing the legs off the bed.  I got up and checked with the flashlight and look what I found under the bed.

The empty chicken package I washed out and left in the drainer to dry.

But her true skills come into play with plastic.

Not many dogs could do this to a Tupperware container that once held M&M’s.

Those are some skills right there, take a closer look at the cover.

I can hear the commentators now.

Commentator 1: This event requires a combination of skills Ken, the floor is set-up as a home-like setting, the dog has to get the object, carry it to an inconspicuous spot before they can actually begin chewing.

Commentator 2: Delilah’s companion tells us that Delilah is a master at this, let’s watch.  She’s entering the ring and looking around, there!  She spots the container, she puts both paws up, sniffs about and YES!  She has grabbed the correct container without disturbing any of the others.

Commentator 1: She’s carrying it over to the rug in the living area, this is perfect because this is where any food left in the container can do the most damage.

Commentator 2: Look at that form, the way she holds the container down with her paws and that teeth action!  She’s definitely medaling here Jim, I can’t see how she could miss. 

Oh yes, if chewing were an Olympic sport my dog would have so much gold, she couldn’t walk. (And I wouldn’t have to work.)

What kind of Olympic skills does your pet have? What types of events would you like to see?

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