Heart Like a Dog

The Good, the Bad, and the Oh My God of living with dogs!

  • Home
  • About
  • Sampson
  • Delilah
  • Contact
  • Community Page

If I Could Talk to My Animals

March 5, 2014 By Jodi

I had a dream.   In this dream I could talk to any animal or any person and they would understand everything I said.  It was the ultimate super power.

Okay, that’s a total lie.  I never had a dream, I just thought the intro sounded better than saying the Doctor Doolittle song has been rolling around in my head, making me wonder what kind of message I would tell my dogs if they could actually understand what I was saying to them.

Some of the things I’d really like Delilah to understand:

  • The kitchen timer DOES NOT mean, it’s time for you to eat.  The same holds true when I open the refrigerator, freezer and pantry doors.  Stop racing me to the kitchen, you’re going to kill me one of these days.
  • I love walking in the woods with you, but not chasing you.
  • When I’m petting Sampson, I’m petting him.  I don’t need you shoving your body in the two inch space that is between us.
  • I’d appreciate it if you could refrain from laying under my upraised recliner.  I hate bopping you on the head when I go to get up.
  • My finger is not part of the treat, I’m actually quite attached to it.  Please try and remember that.
  • I am feeding you a good quality food and in the proper quantity.  You don’t need to eat poop.  Besides being disgusting, it smells when you burp or fart.
When you talk what I hear is "WhaaaatWah."

When you talk what I hear is “WhaaaatWah.”

Some of the things I’d like Sampson to understand:

  • I’m sorry that Delilah has changed so many things about your life, had I known how much our lives would change, I would have made a different choice.
  • Stop, drop and roll is not for the bedroom!  I love how you like to be plastered against me when we sleep, and I don’t even mind if you sleep on me, but it would be nice if you laid down gently on me, instead of dropping your whole 90 pounds in 2 seconds.
  • Your leg feels better because of all the pills I am hiding in your coconut oil.  Stop spitting them out!
  • Stop running!!  We’re trying to prevent you from needing surgery on your leg AND for the love of woof, use the freakin steps we bought for the bed!
  • It doesn’t matter how you move your head, my finger will only go so far into your ear.
Found this on SlimDoggy's Facebook page, thanks for sharing!

Found this on SlimDoggy’s Facebook page, thanks for sharing!

SlimDoggy posted this on their Facebook page the other day, which helped motivate me to write this post.  Thanks SlimDoggy!

What would you say if you could talk to your animals?  Anything in particular you’d like them to know?

Like what you read? Please share on your social network.

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Reddit
  • Tumblr
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest

Filed Under: Humor Tagged With: Delilah, Humor, Life With Sampson And Delilah, Sampson

Picking Up Poop is Dangerous

March 3, 2014 By Jodi

The Daddy gets up earlier than the Mama on week days, and Sampson and Delilah usually get up with him.  Since Sampson had his partial ACL tear the Mama insists that someone go out with Sampson to insure he’s not running around and doing stupid things like jumping off the wall.  Don’t laugh, I actually caught him trying to do that.

But when the Mama is sleeping and the Daddy is getting ready for work, sometimes the Daddy cheats and doesn’t go out with them.

This means sometimes the dogs poop in the yard without benefit of someone picking it up.

After the Mama gets up, and gets the dog’s food ready, gets herself ready and feeds the dogs, she takes the dogs outside again and then it’s a race to see who can get to the dog poop first.

Delilah has the advantage because she knows the potty spots.

Since I’m out there hunting poop piles, I can usually catch her and stop her with a “NO!”

Dogs who are raw fed have harder, more compact poop than kibble fed dogs.  That’s a fact.  And I think it freezes faster and harder.  That is not in fact a fact, it’s a theory of mine.

As it is in many areas of the country, it’s been very cold lately.  If I were Jen, I might go outside and throw water in the air to see if it would freeze before it hit the ground.  But I’m not Jen and with my luck, I’d just drench myself OR the water would freeze on the ground and then I’d slip and fall on my ass.

How are you with math?  Let’s add this up.  The dogs are outside without benefit of supervision.  It is cold and they are dropping warm poop on cold snow, in freezing air.

Are you following me?

Let me simplify it.  Some mornings I am out in the cold trying to pry up hard poop that is frozen to the snow.

Pay no attention to the poor polish job I did on my nails.  I assure you my left hand looks spectacular.

No that is not nail art and yes, I did a poor job painting my nails.

 

Which is how it came about that I scraped my thumb on either ice or dog shit.

Don’t get your panties in a wad, if it was in fact dog shit that cause my scrape I didn’t actually TOUCH the poop.  The best thing I can figure is when I was trying to pry the turd up, I either hit ice with my bare finger or the poop was so hard, it scraped my thumb through the poop bag.   My fingers were so freaking cold from digging in snow that I couldn’t feel anything and it wasn’t until I got inside that I saw the blood.

Naturally I washed my hands and put antibiotic cream on it.

The problem was I was outside without gloves because I can’t manage the poop bags with my gloves.  Yes, I know Jodi Chick had a DIY pair of grippy gloves but what can I say, I’m lazy.

So there I was wondering how I was going to remedy this situation when guess what came in the mail?

Nothing to worry about here NSA, keep on trolling.

Nothing to worry about here NSA, keep on trolling.

 

I couldn’t remember ordering anything and couldn’t imagine what was inside, so I opened it.

Holy woof, just what I needed!!

Holy woof, just what I needed!!

 

OMG it’s FrostFingers gloves from Earth Rated!!   I’m so excited about these gloves!!  You can tear a bag off and open it without having to take your gloves off.  Which means the next morning, I was safely able to pick up poop with no danger to my hands.

Have you ever had a special pair of gloves for picking up poop in the cold?  Did you make them yourself or buy them?

**I was given a free pair of gloves from a Facebook contest held by Earth Rated.  I was not compensated in any other way, nor was a post required in order to receive the gloves.  The thoughts and opinions expressed are my own and I will only share products I feel are relevant or of interest to Heart Like a Dog readers.

Like what you read? Please share on your social network.

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Reddit
  • Tumblr
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest

Filed Under: Humor Tagged With: Delilah, Dog Poop, FrostFinger gloves, Humor, Life With Sampson And Delilah

You Make Me Smile – March 2, 2014

March 2, 2014 By Jodi

You make me smile (or laugh.)  The funny, silly, loving things my dogs do on a daily basis that bring a smile to my face or a laugh to my lips.

Sampson, when you lay your head on my leg (even if you are just begging for treats)

3-2-14 you make me smile.

How do your babies beg for treats?  Sound off in the comments.

 

 

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Like what you read? Please share on your social network.

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Reddit
  • Tumblr
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest

Filed Under: You Make Me Smile Tagged With: Heart Like A Dog, Humor, Life With Sampson And Delilah, Sampson

  • « Previous Page
  • 1
  • …
  • 91
  • 92
  • 93
  • 94
  • 95
  • …
  • 236
  • Next Page »

About Jodi

jodiHi, my name is Jodi. Thanks for stopping by and checking out my blog! I have all kinds of fun writing about my two crazy pups, Sampson and Delilah. Find out more!

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Let’s Stay Connected!

  • Facebook
  • Google+
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter

Heart Like A Dog

Heart Like A Dog

Products We Love

Heart Like a Dog reader's receive a one time 25% discount when purchasing. If you do purchase, we thank you as we receive a small commission. Use code HeartOff

Creative Commons

Creative Commons License
Heart Like A Dog by Jodi E. Stone is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at www.heartlikeadog.com.

Recent Posts

  • Dearest Delilah
  • Happy 17th Birthday in Heaven, Sampson
  • My Darling Delilah
  • A Year Without You
  • Six Months of Missing You

Recent Comments

  • Madison on Dearest Delilah
  • Ducky & Bogie's Mom on Dearest Delilah
  • Sue on Dearest Delilah
  • Brian Frum on Dearest Delilah
  • Cat and DOG Chat With Caren on Dearest Delilah

Copyright © 2025 · Dynamik Website Builder on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in