Heart Like a Dog

The Good, the Bad, and the Oh My God of living with dogs!

You Make Me Smile – June 1, 2014

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You make me smile (or laugh,) the sweet, funny, loving things my dogs do on a daily basis that bring a smile to my face or a laugh to my lips.

Delilah…..when you eat your treat and then go get Sampson’s bone to make sure he hasn’t left anything….

Oh Mama, it's two bones, it's not like I'm a bone collector....

Oh Mama, it’s two bones, it’s not like I’m a bone collector….

You make me smile.

Actually, just about everything Delilah does makes me smile or laugh, but most of her antics are not captured. 

Your turn, what does your pet do that makes you smile?

 

Things Aren’t Always What They Seem to Be

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Just about 10 years ago, Hubby and I made a trip to Florida to help friends of ours celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary.  As sometimes happens other friends of ours were out of town and needed someone to care for their dog, Woody.  Hubby and I were arriving late and agreed to watch Woody, in exchange for a place to stay.  Woody was a Golden Retriever, and at that stage I’d had no real experience with caring for a large dog.

Our friends lived on a canal and as often happens in Florida especially for those who live around water, you get the occasional ‘gator.  I’m the type of person who doesn’t care for confrontations, but when they are inevitable, I prefer to meet them head on and get it over with quickly.  Unless of course, I’m dealing with a wild animal that has the potential to be deadly.  Then I’m full on chicken, turning tail and running.

It was late one night and quite dark and I took Woody out for his last potty break of the night.  I felt like walking so Woody and I headed down the road.  We got about four houses away from where Woody lived, when I noticed something very still on the front lawn of a dark house.  I stopped and stared trying to determine what it was in the dark.  From where I stood it looked like a fairly large ‘gator and so I turned around and began walking quickly but carefully back towards the house.  I knew that ‘gators have the ability to move very quickly when they spot prey, so while I was hustling my ass out of there, I kept looking behind me to see if it was following us and to make sure that my ass remained behind me and not is some ‘gator’s mouth.

If I recall correctly, Woody was taking his sweet Golden time and I could feel the panic rising, but somehow, miraculously Woody and I made it safely back to the house, both of us with our asses intact.

In the bright sunshine of the next day, I realized the ‘gator I’d seen the previous night, was nothing more than a palm frond that had either been cut or had fallen from a tree.  Being human I felt very foolish at my flight from the night before.

Dogs on the other hand, don’t feel foolish, I’m sure it didn’t phase Woody one bit that I dragged him away from a palm frond.

I was reminded of this story last week when Sampson dragged me across the street to inspect, what I thought and I’m fairly certain he thought was a lizard.

What is that?

What is that?

But as the title indicates, and the gator story proves, things aren’t always what they seem to be.

Hmpf, it's just a piece of bark.

Hmpf, it’s just a piece of bark.

And this is Thursday’s Barks and Bytes Blog hop, hosted by 2 Brown Dawgs and Heart Like a Dog.  Grab the badge (you can copy the text in my sidebar) and join the fun.

Heart Like a Dog

For new blog hoppers, a blog hop is a linky list that is shared on multiple blogs. In order to be fair to all participants we ask you to please display the linky list or link back to your hosts.

WHAT THE ?

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Graphic Designed by Julie Melfi, Creative Leg Up.

Graphic Designed by Julie Melfi, Creative Leg Up.

It’s been a while since I came up with a WTF Wednesday post.  Mostly because it got too depressing seeing all the stupid things that people were doing to animals, but this one was just too hard to pass up.  (Note this photo came across my Facebook page, the photo was found on techcrunch)

Say it with me. WHAT THE FUCK?

Say it with me. WHAT THE FUCK?

Now listen, I don’t like picking up dog crap any better than the rest of you, but when the day comes where I think harnessing my dog up and strapping a bag on its ass is easier than bending down to pick up poop, take my dog away from me and add me to the do not adopt list.

If this doesn’t scream, “YOU SHOULDN’T OWN A DOG” I don’t know what does.  Really, you still have to deal with shit, why not just save yourself a five minute dog wrestle and bend over and pick up the shit?  Besides any dog I know is not going to stand still while I strap a bag on its ass.

NOT HAPPENING.

I’ve been told that dogs don’t experience embarrassment the way people do, but I have a feeling that if I strapped a bag to my dog’s ass, I’d be the one embarrassed, not to mention the potential lawsuits.

Driver: There I was officer, driving down the street when I saw this dog with a bag strapped to its ass.  Of its own accord my head whipped around and I never even saw that parked car, I’m just grateful the pedestrian jumped out of the way of my careening car.

Officer: What do you mean, it had a bag on its ass?  Was it wrapped around its legs?  Did it swallow it and was trying to push it out?

Driver: No officer!  The bag was to CATCH the poop.

Officer: Ma’am, have you been drinking?  I know it’s only 9:00 AM but where are coming from, was there liquor there?

Driver: Officer, I swear, the dog had a bag strapped to its ass.  Like harnessed and intentionally, Strapped. To. Its. Ass.  Oh, oh, there it is, look over there!

Officer: Summabitch, I hope the cruiser cam is catching this, it will help your case stand up in court.  Where the Fu… is my ticket book?  That’s cruelty to animals right there.”  Hits button on his mike, “Dispatch?  Send animal control over to ……they’re gonna have to see this shit to believe it.”

Don't get any ideas Mama, I will bite you.

Don’t get any ideas Mama, I will bite you.

That to me is the epitome of laziness.  I cannot believe that someone actually invented this and I have to tell you, if I EVER see a dog with this strapped to its ass, the likelihood of me going West Virginia Back-woods Hood-rat on that owner, are probably pretty damn good.  

Whoo Hoo

Because my little badge at the top of the page says WTF/Whoo Hoo, I am going to share some exciting news in the dog world.   Minnesota has become the first state in the U.S., and first political body in the world, to mandate that laboratory dogs and cats be adopted when the research is over!  The Beagle Freedom Project was instrumental in making this happen!!  Personally I’d like to see them end animal testing all together, but hey it’s a start!

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