Welcome to WTF Wednesday. The day where I read and review news stories about animals and generally ask WTF was the human thinking?
You’ve heard this one right?
43 socks. A three-year-old Great Dane ate 43 socks.
I have so many questions. SO MANY.
Do these people pay attention to the dog at all? Whose turn was it to watch the dog? Who does the laundry in your house? Didn’t you wonder where all those socks were? How many pairs of socks do you own? What was the time frame, I mean did the dog get up one morning and eat 43 socks? Did the dog stop eating his regular food because he has a sock fetish? And finally, last but not least, WTF?
Let’s look at these questions one by one.
Do these people pay attention to the dog at all? I mean wouldn’t you notice? The dog has a sock. The sock is gone. Where is the sock? Hey puppy, I see you have a sock in your mouth. Shit, where’d that sock go? You didn’t eat that sock did you?
My reality. Sampson was being playful last Thursday. He had the little squeaky from one of his toys, he picked it up in his mouth and threw it to me. I threw it back. We did this three or four times. Then I threw the squeaky and he opened his mouth, but didn’t toss the squeaky back. I screamed, “Drop it, drop it” and shoved my hand in his mouth. The squeaky was not there. I called the vet. As I was on the phone waiting to find out whether I should make him vomit or not I found a little squeaky on the floor. Both Hubby and I are fairly certain that he did NOT swallow a squeaker. But it’s filed in the back of my mind, just in case he starts acting weird. (And for those of you who are curious, the answer is do not make him vomit. Vomiting could cause the squeaker to lodge in his esophagus on the way back up.)
Sorry, my point is, I was watching my dog!!
Whose turn was it to watch the dog? I blame the wife. I mean we all know women pay more attention than men do, men are easily distracted, especially if the TV is on.
My reality. Me to Hubby, how did this paper towel get torn up? Hubby, I don’t know. Me, what do you mean you don’t know? You are sitting right in front of it! Hubby pausing the TV, hush woman, The Big Bang Theory is on.
Who does the laundry in your house? Wouldn’t the person doing the laundry notice socks were missing? Hmm…looks like Sally wore one sock this week. NOT!
My reality. Me. I do the laundry in the house. I pay attention to what I’m washing. When I’m short a sock I know about it. Shit, come to think of it, where is that blue sock? Delilah, Delilah, baby girl, come here!!
WHAT? Socks? Siriusly? What dog in their right mind eats socks? Ohh..it was a Dane you say? Well that explains it.
Didn’t you wonder where all those socks went? Like, hubby goes to work every day, every day he changes his socks. You do laundry once a week, why then aren’t there fourteen socks in the laundry?
My reality. Gee I know Hubby wore a pair of socks every day this week, how come there are only three in the hamper? Where’s that damn dog?
How many freaking pairs of socks do you own? Where do you store them? Do you have a dresser just for socks? Inquiring minds want to know.
My reality. I barely have enough socks to last me a week. If I were missing a dozen…well I wouldn’t have any.
What was the time frame, I mean did the dog get up one morning and eat 43 socks or did this happen over time? Gee, I’ve been noticing that Fido has come out of the bedroom every morning for the last month with a sock in his mouth. Where does the sock go? Or gee, did you see the six packs of socks I just opened? I know I put them somewhere.
My reality. When my dogs have anything in their mouth I’m paying attention. Delilah, drop that cookie! I said drop it and don’t even think of trading it for a napkin. Napkins are designed to wipe the outside of your mouth, not butt floss for the inside.
Did the dog stop eating his regular food because he has a sock fetish? I mean, socks are material. Material absorbs fluid. If you add two plus two to forty three, I get that stomach has no room for kibbles.
My reality. Delilah does not eat her food. Shit, I better call the vet, something is wrong with this dog.
WTF? No really, WTF? I could see one sock, maybe two, but forty three?
Funny enough, the owners of the Great Dane declined to identify themselves I’m not surprised really, a dog that can eat 43 socks could probably win a pie eating contest.
Apparently this story was submitted by a veterinarian for a contest called “They Ate What?” The scary thing is a rock eating frog took first place. I’m not even touching who was watching that frog.
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