Heart Like a Dog

The Good, the Bad, and the Oh My God of living with dogs!

A Dog Like Delilah

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When you have a dog like Delilah you have to stay on your toes.  

Thank Dog she's not whining about me.

Trash talking again.  Holy Woof woman, let it go.

She can go weeks, even months on end without destroying anything in the house. (Although she does have a weakness for napkins, tissues and paper towels).

In fact, she can be so good, that you actually let your guard down.  And it’s then, and only then, that she strikes.

BAM! 

In her defense, it’s really our fault.  

No really.  We know she is a food thief and yet we still leave shit lying around.

Like the hamburger bun I mentioned in yesterday’s post.  

Hear me out.

It was a long day and I was tired.  I didn’t feel like cooking.  I  was on my way home from a hair appointment and I asked Hubby to order us some burgers from our local Chili’s.

Since I’m gluten-free I usually order the burger without the bun, but the last time I did it, the cheese stuck to the foil they wrapped the burger in.  And that pissed me off.

So this time I ordered the bun.  I figured it’s easier to scrape cheese off a bun, then aluminum foil.  I mean anyone with silver fillings can tell you exactly how awful aluminum foil is.  

**Shiver** I just had a sympathy zap right there.

Except Hubby forgot to tell them to put cheese on the damn burger, so  I was slightly disappointed and I took the bun, wrapped it in the foil and tossed it in the sink.

The kitchen sink.  You know the one the garbage can sits under? 

This was my first mistake.

You see, I could have simply opened the cabinet door and stuck the bun in the bin, but I was lazy and slovenly and I left the bun in the sink.

That was my second mistake.

In my defense, the garbage was full and I intended to take the garbage out and I would have thrown the bun then, but it was a long day and I was tired.  Oh wait, I already said that. Geez, it sucks when your mind goes.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, the bun.  In the sink.  

Not to be confused or mistaken for a bun in the oven.

Anyhow, I probably walked past the sink at least twice, each time marveling that the bun was still there and that’s where I became complacent.

Or maybe I was just testing her. Yeah, let’s go with that. I was testing her.

I’m embarrassed to tell you that I actually left that bun in the sink overnight.  

I know, I’m disappointed in myself too.  There’s just no excuse for my laziness.

As I climbed into bed that night I had a brief and fleeting thought about that bun in the sink and I thought to myself, Delilah will probably get up in the night and eat that bun.

Except she didn’t!

When I got up the bun was still in the sink.  So I went to the bathroom and that’s when she went into the sink and took the bun.  

She brought it (like she brings all her trashures) into the living room, in front of the fireplace and that’s where she ate it.

To her credit, she left the foil.  

I guess the foil bothers her teeth too.

Poop Makes the Best Posts

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About six weeks ago, Maggie from Oh My Dog posted a link on Facebook to her blog post.  The post was about poop.

In the comments I said, “Poop makes the best posts.”

And she responded, “They do make the best posts!” (Or something close to that.)

I don’t know about you, but I get the best comments when I post about poop.  Seriously, the comments are the absolute best.

Another poop post? When will you grow up?

Another poop post? When will you grow up?

I have a theory about why that is.

Wanna hear it?  Of course you do, you wouldn’t still be reading if you didn’t.

The reason poop posts make the best posts is simple.

Everybody poops.  Everybody’s dog poops.  It’s something we all have in common and therefore we can all relate to it.

I can tell you a story about Delilah and how she climbed up to get a hamburger bun out of the sink, and you will laugh, because it is funny.  

EXCEPT… if you’ve never had a counter surfer (or a dog large enough to reach the sink) you will find it amusing, but not relatable.

BUT every one of you has a poop story.  Whether it’s your own, or your dogs, you have a story. Every. Single. One. Of. You.

I can tell you, that right now we have a lot of snow and more came yesterday.  It is piled up close to four feet high on the sides of the road. This means there is no where for the dogs to poop on our walks, so they have to poop in the street.  

Labs-in-snow

Holy woof, do you think we’ll have to wait til’ spring to find a place to poop?

Now many of you don’t have snow, don’t walk in snow and there may even be some of you who have never seen snow.  BUT you can still relate because odds are, if you have a dog, that dog has in fact pooped somewhere it shouldn’t have.

So when I share with you about the time I didn’t judge the ‘grab’ and I ended up with a wee bit of poo on the tip of my finger, you can understand that even though I wiped it on grass, I knew that shit touched my finger and I fixated on it the entire walk, until I finally got home and could wash my hands.

Or the time the only bag I had split and I was able to mickey rig it together, but searched every paper box we passed for a plastic bag I could commandeer, to ensure my ‘treasure’ didn’t get lost on the way home.

Um, there also might have been a time I was walking the dogs and went to pick up a poop and dropped it on my foot.  My foot that was in open toed sandals.  I dropped the poop on my toe, and immediately flicked my foot like the turd was a hacky sack.  I opened my mouth and squealed.

Good thing I’m not good with the hacky sack, that could have been a whole different poop story.

I bet you have your own awesome poop stories. I’d love for you to share them in the comments.

Follow-Up Friday – January 30, 2015

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Welcome to this week’s edition of Follow-Up Friday, the post where I highlight reader’s comments, answer questions and generally just wrap up my week.

You Make Me Smile – January 25, 2015

Dog uses pillow like a person

No wonders peeps like sleeping on pillows.

Emma said, “Sampson, you are a funny boy! Bailie and I both give hugs and if we aren’t done and Mom tries to move our paws, we hug tighter! Bailie also sleeps on a pillow in bed sometimes.”

I think that’s super cool Emma.  My dogs don’t do a lot of hugging, I hope you’ll have one for me in Nashville.

Rebecca said, “What a great picture. We would play a game with Andy our standard poodle by throwing a couch pillow down on the floor and no matter where we threw it Andy would go over and lay down next to it and put his head on the pillow.”

Now that’s a neat trick!  I’ve never heard of that, did you have a command for it, or did he just naturally do it?

Jan said, “Dogs have lived with humans for so many thousands of years they think they are (superior) humans…”

Sometimes I do feel they are superior.  They have such a capacity for love and forgiveness, which is definitely a trait all humans could use.

Sherrie Petrie said, “This year for Christmas instead of giving our girls a bunch of toys we gave them each a soft cozy blanket from Petsmart (some of the $ goes to their charities) and with two of them being Chihuahuas it is so funny to watch them make their, as hubby puts it burrito nests at nite for their pre-bedtime naps. One will make a cave so all you can see are ears and a nose. Or they will whine until “daddy” actually wraps them up like a burrito and tucks them in until they get too hot and then they make what we call “the birds nest” and rest their nose on top of the rim.”

That sounds adorable!  Do you video it?  I would probably watch it over and over. 

Delilah the Defender

Funny things dogs do.

Are you on about that again?

Sue said, ” My Lucy was the shop dog at my antique shop and greeted everyone with joy. However, one day when she and Tucker were home alone, a neighbor stopped by. He later reported he’d never seen such a big, furious dog before in his life. Lucy had jumped up on the glass door and went nuts. She took her home guarding duties very seriously. (And Tucker? The neighbor said he was sitting a few feet away from Lucy and wagging his tail.) These days it is quiet Rudy who really does not like strange men. Why? I dunno.”

Oh Sue, they sound exactly like my two.  I’ve seen Delilah with her face mashed up against the glass, teeth gnashing, barking furiously.  Sampson just wags his tail. 

Blueberry’s Human said, “Wait…you don’t have to pump your own gas????? I’m movin’ to Jersey!”

Not only do you not have to pump your own gas, I’m pretty sure it’s against the law.  AND New Jersey isn’t all that far from me.

Hawk aka Brown Dog said, “Oh, when something is seriously threatening I growl so softly only my Human can hear. If I’m leaping and barking at the door I’m just announcing that someone has arrived.”

YOU are a very well trained dog Hawk, my dogs aren’t nearly that good. 

Jan K said, “Luke is exactly like Delilah, though he backs off from people most of the time. If they ignore him he is usually OK. He will warm up to people, but it takes a long time. He’s kind of a “bark first, ask questions later” kind of dog.”

Delilah is the same way!!  It takes her a LONG time to warm up too.  She’s really very aloof with almost everyone.  In fact, I think this year she’s really begun to warm up to my mom and sister and it’s been almost 8 years!

A Wet Towel for Delilah, Some More Xanax for Me

Hives on dogs

It’s not a fancy ‘doo, it’s an ugly, itchy mess.

Sand Spring Chesapeakes said, “Holy cow girlfriend, what next???? Poor girl, I can’t believe she wasn’t itching herself raw with all those hives. Yes defiantly a allergic reaction but from what??? Any thing unusual or different she did before that all happened? Glad the benadryl worked!”

I’ve learned not to ask that question, “What next?” LOL Generally the universe has an answer for that one. 

Daisy said, “OMG! That would totally freak me out.”

I think the look on my face would have been priceless.

Emma said, “Where do these weird things come from and why do they only happen on weekends when the vet is closed or during a blizzard?

I don’t know why it always happens like that.  I’m just grateful I took her to the vet before the big storm hit.

2 Brown Dawgs said, “How scary. I wonder what caused the reaction?”

From what I read on Pet36o an allergic reaction occurs about 20 minutes after ingestion.  I noticed the first hive after her breakfast and the second one after dinner.  My best guess is the joint supplement I was using.  I’ve been told that SO many pets are on supplements with shellfish in it and an allergic reaction for dogs from shellfish is rare, but to me that doesn’t mean it CAN’T happen.  She is a rare one herself. 

Frankie and Ernie said, “OMD that picture looked like you had a FURRY CROWN on your head…”

I was thinking corn row, but I’ll go with Furry Crown. 🙂

Lauranne asked, “How do you not have xanax on a permanent drip link to your arm??”

Is that a thing?  I need to get one.  In the meantime….I guess I’ll have some more whiskey in my coffee.

Sherrie Petrie said, “my experience with animals is one of the biggies is grains and dairy. Try a grain free diet for Delilah and see if that helps.”

Thanks Sherrie, we are grain free already and her dairy is limited.  I’m really thinking it’s the shellfish.

My Dog is a Doofus

Frankie and Ernie said, “WE think it is GRAND that the Doofus is so Friendly and Loves Peeps so much… It is like being a Pawsonal GREETER… butt BETTER than the ones they used to have at Walmart…”

Oh Frankie and Ernie, you always make me laugh.  I love how you called him the Doofus.

Rachele Baker, DVM said, “It sounds like Sampson just has a lot of love in his heart to share.”

You’re very sweet.  He really is such a loving guy.  He’s out to win everyone over.

Jan said, “Sampson is the dog version of a politician or maybe a beloved statesman or possibly a used car salesman.”

I’ll go with beloved….politicians or used car salesman….I’m not so sure. 🙂

Daisy says, “I think they’re just sociable and interested. At least that’s what I tell myself. ;)”

I like it Daisy.  

Well folks, that’s it for me.  Thanks for hanging in there and have a great weekend.

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