Heart Like a Dog

The Good, the Bad, and the Oh My God of living with dogs!

The DADO Report – Star Date April 13, 2017

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A few weeks ago, I wrote a post titled, “Dear Neighbor“, in which I mentioned how one of the people in my neighborhood thinks you house train a puppy by leaving that puppy outside. No surprise, he also has dogs that leave his yard.

This story took place a few months ago, and I’ve had it in draft form for a bit, finally getting around to posting it.

Ya’ll know we walk in the dark. In our neighborhood, we don’t have sidewalks, so when we walk, typically the dogs are walking close to the curb, or on someone’s lawn. When you live in the DADO capital of the world, you learn which houses have e-fences, and which yards to be wary of.

Unless you don’t.

The dogs have their favorite routes. Sampson’s is to see people he loves, while Delilah’s. Well who knows why she likes it, but she does.

Of course, I dress for the weather, whatever that might be, but I try to keep it comfortable.

This particular damp morning I had on a light jacket and some slip on sneakers. As is Delilah’s usual MO, she heads towards her favorite route. So there we are, walking along in the dark, and we approach the DADO’s house. This DADO used to have a yellow lab that he kept outside a lot. Her name was Sarah and once, she came out of her yard to follow us. That time, I dropped Sampson’s leash, and hustled Delilah along. I’m not sure what happened to Sarah, but he apparently has another yellow lab, that isn’t quite so friendly.

This particular morning there we were, walking along quite contentedly, when suddenly, this large, yellow lab, comes flying around the side of the house, snarling and growling like a fool, and comes rushing out into the street. I immediately made to move away, and shelter Delilah, and in the process, I lost my left shoe.

I don’t wear, nor do I like shoes, so I don’t see the problem.

So there I stood, socked foot planted firmly on the wet street, with my shoe, the shoe that kept my foot dry, a good five feet away. I contemplated if those castle steps were as uncomfortable on Cinderella’s feet as the wet street was on mine.

But I stood there anyway, standing my ground. I fluffed myself up as big as I could, and in my sternest voice said, “GET IN YOUR YARD. GO!”

And he did.

I retrieved my shoe, and finished the walk with one damp foot.

Ever since that morning, I’ve avoided walking past that house.

It’s a damn shame when some Dumb Ass Dog Owner ruins it for everyone else.

Maybe It’s Me

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Before I freak you out, I will tell you that to the best of my knowledge, Delilah is okay.

Today I’m going to rant and rave and swear and self-doubt myself, so if you’re not into it, I’m not offended if you move on to another blog.

Yesterday I camethisclose to shooting a dog with my pepper blaster and I’m good and pissed off about it. It’s these God Damn Dumb Ass Dog Owners and I’m sick and fucking tired of my dog bearing the brunt of their stupidity.

We’ve had an encounter with this dog before. You can read about that HERE.

Since that incident, I’ve only seen them walking their dog once or twice. Most of the time when we walk by their yard, the dog is outside, barking and biting at the fence. Delilah has learned to tune him out.

If he only knew he could probably jump that gate.

If he only knew he could climb that gate.

Right now our walks are short, mostly due to the heat but also due to some construction on our street. Most of our walks are just around the block.

As I mentioned there is construction on our street, so there’s a lot of sniffing to be done.

As we approached the house with the dog, I saw the dog at the gate (of course) and the owner was also at the gate. I could see he was attempting to come out of the gate and the dog was right there.

It happened so fast. There was a split second where I maybe could have turned around. I’m not sure how that would have turned out. Maybe we would have gotten away, maybe the dog would have ended up chasing us. All I know is it’s like a fucking train wreck, you KNOW it’s happening, but you either can’t react quick enough or your certain it won’t happen.

So there’s a chance I could have avoided it, but I can’t say that with certainty. So I kept walking, letting Delilah lead the way.

The town trucks were there and just as we got to the front of the truck, I saw the man open his gate, sticking his foot in front of his dog. But it was ineffective, the dog took off hell bent for destruction heading our way.

I SHOULD have turned around and run, I SHOULD have pulled out my pepper blaster and nailed that little fucker right away, but I didn’t. Instead, I said, “Heads up Delilah, there’s a dog heading your way” and I dropped her leash.

I dropped her leash so she could defend herself because the last thing I want is for her to feel helpless when she’s being attacked.

I also thought since she was much larger, a snark from her would be enough to send the Jackal back thru the gates of hell.

Apparently Jackal’s aren’t smart.

Instead what ensued was 20 to 40 seconds (it seemed like minutes) of this dog growling and snarking and my dog defending herself. A couple of times she had him pinned underneath her, and in my opinion, a smart dog would have thrown in the towel.

Not this dumb ass. No, this little idiot with the Napoleon complex continued snarking and mouthing Delilah.

To be honest, I think it was just that. A lot of mouthing and noise.

As soon as I saw the dog wasn’t giving up, I starting calling Delilah and she came back to me. And that fucking asshole dog turned around and came at her again.

At this point, the DADO was standing there trying to call his dog, so I stepped in between Delilah and the dog and said, “GET” or “GO” or something along those lines. I really can’t remember what.

The dog turned towards its owner, then back towards me again. At this point, I had my spitter out and I pushed the safety to the side and pointed it right at the dog.

“GO”

Maybe it was the pepper blaster in his dog’s face, maybe the dog decided he’d lost the fight, I’m not sure, it was so fast and such a blur. But at this point, the owner picked up the dog.

“Bad Dog Tito, Bad Dog.” Yeah, cause’ that makes it all okay. Jack wagon.

Naturally he apologized and asked if Delilah was okay. I ran my hands over her looking for blood but couldn’t find any. She was wet on her chest, but that is where the dog was pinned, so I think it was just saliva.

Like I said, I think it was just a lot of mouthing and noise, but it shook me to my very core.

I told him I thought she was and I walked away. I didn’t even ask him about his dog because quite frankly, I could give two shits.

How could I let my dog down like that? WHAT should I have done, could I have prevented it from happening? If I’d turned and run, would the dog have chased us?

How do you train or prepare for something like that? It’s happened before, but it’s been a while so it came right out of the blue.

Maybe I don’t live in the DADO capital of the world, maybe it’s me, maybe I AM the Dumb Ass Dog Owner.

The DADO Report for May 2016

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So here’s the latest DADO report for last month. (For those that might be new to the blog, DADO stands for Dumb Ass Dog Owners and believe you me, there are a number of them in my neighborhood.)

Last Thursday I was taking Sampson for his morning walk. We did our six minutes and then I turned around and crossed the street like I usually do. I noticed one of the houses with an e-fence had their garage door open and I had a brief thought that I should cross the street, but I didn’t.

I should know better because the woman who lives in this house always takes her dog in the car with her when she takes her son to the bus stop. And she passes us almost every day.

I looked carefully and didn’t see a dog and really, what should it matter, the dog’s on an e-fence, right?

Sampson and I are taking our time as is his our custom. Just as we pull level with the driveway, I hear the distinctive sound of a dog on a mission. I look up to see the dog (Roxy) flying out of the garage and across the lawn.  (You may remember Roxy, she’s the little puppy that didn’t want to poop while on leash, so the woman left her off and in doing so, her brand new puppy ran across the  street to greet Delilah.)

Sampson (of course) starts jumping around, which is horrible for his leg, so I start walking to the other side of the road. Just as we reach the safety of the other side, Roxy gets to the end of her yard, pops out into the street, realizes she’s popped out of her yard, spins around to head back in, then realizes she didn’t get zapped and barrels across the street at us.

I hear the mom call Roxy and then I hear the son say, “Told ya.”

I don't always leave my yard, but when I do, it's to sniff a handsome lad.

I don’t always leave my yard, but when I do, it’s to sniff a handsome lad.

And there I am standing on the side of the road with my dog, who is now being sniffed over by Roxy.

The mom comes over and tries to grab the dog, but Roxy thinks it’s a game, so she darts away as the woman tells me that her husband ‘edged’ through their electric fence.

And yet, you took your dog outside without a leash?

Roxy dances close beside me and I say, “I’m afraid to grab her collar, I don’t want to startle her and I don’t know how she does with strangers touching her.”

The woman ponders that, “She’s never bitten anyone before…”

Yeah, I’ll keep my hands to myself.

I reach into my treat bag and hand the woman a few tiny pieces of kibble.

“Wow, you’re good” she responds as she takes the kibble and holds it out to her dog, who turns her nose up at it and darts away again.

Sampson’s grown bored with the whole process since he’s already met the dog by now and sits down on the side of the road.

What can say? The lassies all love me.

What can say? The lassies all love me.

Meanwhile, people in the neighborhood are leaving for work and cars start moving along the street, while Roxy continues to dance about and play the keep-me-away-from-my-mom game.

Finally, after what seems like 10 minutes, but was probably more like three, Roxy gets close enough for the woman to snag her and the son comes out into the street and carries the dog into the car.

I gather up my wits, my treats and my dog and stagger home clutching my heart.

Really, you can’t make this stuff up.

Does this stuff happen to anyone else? Or is it just me?

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