Today is Dr. Seuss’ birthday. I thought it might be a good time to take one of his stories and dogify it. If you’re not a fan of potty humor, you may want to skip this one. 🙂

Today, I present to you, “OH THE PLACES YOU’LL GO” for dogs.

Congratulations!
Today is your day!
You’re off to do potties!
You’re off and away!

You have a good nose.
You know you can’t lose.
You can drag your mom.
In any direction you choose.

You love your own neighborhood. You know what you know.
And YOU are the guys who’ll decide where to go.

You’ll sniff up and down streets. Sniff them over with care.
About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.”
With your nose full of smells and with wings on your feet.
You’re too darn smart not to check every street.

And you may find some.
That aren’t very good.
In that case, of course,
You’ll head straight for the woods.

There’s far more smells available there.
So many more smells in that wide open air.

Out there things can happen.
You can get thrown for a loop.
To puppies out walking.
And looking to poop.

When things start to happen,
Don’t jump through a hoop.
Just squat down together,
And both take your poop

OH THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!

The woods are quite roomy.
There’s so much to see.
And plenty of chances.
To pee on a tree.

OH THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!

You’re well on your way!
You’re welcome to boast.
If you can’t find a tree.
Then take a leak on a post.

OH THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!

You’ll search the whole place.
Get a feel for the ‘burb.
But don’t get too excited.
And drop one on the curb.

OH THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!

If it starts to go sidewise.
And you start to unravel.
Don’t worry at all.
Just go on the gravel.

OH THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!

Except when you don’t.
Because, sometimes, you won’t.

I’m sorry to say.
And I hate that it’s true.
But sometimes, just sometimes.
You’ll just have no clue.

It’s bound to happen.
But don’t worry, don’t cower.
Just lift up that leg.
And go on the flowers.

OH THE PLACES YOU’LL GO

When mom says it’s over.
And you’re wanting to balk.
Just remember tomorrow.
There’ll be new smells on that walk.

OH THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!

Happy Dr. Seuss day everyone! (I hope he’s not rolling over.) 🙂