Heart Like a Dog

The Good, the Bad, and the Oh My God of living with dogs!

Dogs Think Like…..

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I have a theory and it goes like this.  Dogs have lived with humans for so long, they’ve begun to think like us.

Hear me out.

Men

In general I think most women will agree that men think with a certain part of their anatomy.  Come on you’ve heard the saying, “Think with your big head and not with your little one.”

You’ve probably all known a man in your life who deals with a woman just not right for him.  When you question him or encourage him to move along you find out that he’s really hanging around for the little somethin, somethin that he’s been getting.

When they are not thinking with their little heads, they are logical thinkers, linear even.  Let me think this through, if I do this then this will happen and so on and so forth.

Women

Women think with their hearts.  When they fall in love, they’re in for the long haul, it takes a lot to break the love of a woman.  After all, the heart wants what the heart wants and there is no denying the heart.  When you question your woman friend who’s in a bad relationship, undoubtedly you will get “But I love him.”

The different thought process of men and women holds true during an argument.  The man is thinking, I should just give in and then we can have make-up sex, while the woman is thinking, we have to talk this thru so my heart stops hurting.

Children

Children think with their souls, they are so pure and innocent and most don’t know about being bad until we teach them.  No Johnny, that was a bad thing to hit the cat.   “Ahh, what is this bad that you speak of?  Tell me more…”

But what does that have to do with dogs?

Ah, I’m glad you asked.

Dogs

They are like men in the fact that they think logically.  Hmm if I plop my butt on the ground when she tells me to sit, I get a treat.

Most of them aren’t opposed to a little humping either. 🙂

Dogs are like women because they love with their whole heart.  They love so unconditionally and want so desperately to please us, which is one of the reasons they have been our companions for so many years.

They are like children because their souls are pure and really haven’t known evil until we introduced it to them.  Seriously, until man got involved there was no such thing as a bad dog.

Delilah

Delilah thinks with her stomach.

I. Kid. You. Not.

This dog is so obsessed with food that I’m afraid I am going to have to find a different way to train her.  Her “Gotcha Day” is coming up at the end of next month.  On that day we will celebrate five years.

Five years and I still haven’t been able to teach her to wait while I prepare her meals.

I walk into the kitchen and pull out their food bowls and she goes wild.  She is jumping, running and barking.

Oh the barking.

It. Drives. Me. To. Drink.  Yes, many nights I pour myself a shot of Tequila while I am waiting for her to settle down.

(I kid.)  But now that I think of it….

I digress.

I’ve tried ignoring her with no results.

I’ve tried looking at her and this works for a few seconds.  Then she is up on her feet again.  If she does sit, she is usually very vocal, barking or whining as if that could actually make me hurry up. (Ok, it might, if I thought it would shut her up, but I refuse to give in.)

Meanwhile, the Golden Boy is sitting where he has been told to sit and patiently waiting while Delilah and I (or Hubby) do this crazy, mosh-pit dance.

The last couple of days I’ve taken to ignoring her completely and just feeding Sampson, and then Bob, and then Sampson’s second course.  All the while Delilah is standing there looking at me, tail wagging in anticipation.

Hubby likes to use the intimidation method (which I hate) and stand in front of her with his hands on his hips.  I recently said, “I don’t want you intimidating her like that” and he said, “I”m not intimidating her, I’m blocking her.”

Ooops, I guess Hubby’s thinking with his big head because if he was thinking with the little one he’d know he’s not scoring any points with me on this one.

Sometimes I will ask, “Do you want to go in your crate?” She understands this enough to settle down and truthfully I could just put her in the crate when it was time to prepare her meals and just let her out when I was ready for her.

Training

She is equally as difficult when I try to use the clicker and food.  She is so focused on the food in my hand, that she absolutely cannot comprehend what I want her to do.

I’m. Not. Kidding.

I left a comment on a blog once where I asked, what do you do if the dog is too focused on the food.  The author suggested using food with lesser value.

I didn’t have the heart to tell her I was using a green bean.

This is the part where I throw it out to you.  Would you simply accept the fact that Delilah will never be able to sit quietly while her meals are being prepared and just put her in her crate, or would you try a different method of training?

I’m all ears.

And just for the record, tonight when we tried to get her antics on video, she sat like a perfect dog.

Follow-Up Friday

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For those new to the blog, my follow-up Friday provides me with an opportunity to update or revise a post from the previous week.

You know sometimes you post about something and you need an update but it doesn’t warrant a whole blog.  Or sometimes someone made a comment that really resonated with you.  Yup, Follow-Up Friday baby! 🙂

Be The Change – Author’s Note

You all had some amazing blog posts yourselves.  It makes it so difficult to focus on one cause as there are so many changes that need to take place.

As for my post, I think we have to start with education and who better to start with than children.  They are so malleable and have such sweet, untarnished souls, they could really be the change.

As for the adults who commit these heinous crimes, larger fines, the possibility of jail time and community service, preferably in a shelter or dog pound.

As usual my awesome readers rose to the occasion leaving some incredible comments.

Kristine suggested “prohibiting pet ownership for a lifetime or a period of years,” as well as community service.

I also loved Jan’s idea, “I’d like to see a national registry of animal abusers like they have for sex abusers. Make the animal abusers pay all the expenses of maintaining it.”

Cue the music.

Ahhh ahhhh ahhhh…..can you hear the angels singing to that?  I know I can. 🙂

The Dogs Got Out….I’m So Done – Update

Dog lovers are a passionate bunch of people.  This was very evident in the comments.

I just want to say that as voices for the voiceless we need to be ambassadors for positive training.   In that respect we need to sometimes temper our passion with kindness and remember that not everyone is aware of the resources available to them.  And when someone reaches out to us, kindness will go so much further than anger and harsh words.

My friend ended up re-homing the newest dog to her neighbor.  Her words were, “I”ve never seen her so happy and relaxed.”  Furthermore her other dog has settled down and there has been no more fence jumping.  Everyone is much happier.

Contact Me – Author’s Note

Most of you wrote in to say you had some way for readers to contact you.  There were some blogs where I couldn’t find contact information, but I could follow them on Twitter, so I tweeted to them.

But there are still some blogs I’m having trouble commenting on.  I would ask you for a favor.  As you are perusing your favorite blogs this week, look about their site and see if they have contact information.  If they do not, would you mind leaving a comment and asking them to check their spam?

What Keeps You Awake At Night – Author’s Note

I want you to know I didn’t mean for the post to sound like I was whining.  I can’t sleep, it’s a fact of my life.

I didn’t mean to sound like I was complaining about Sampson and his need for rubbies.   It does NOT bother me that Sampson is in the bed and sleeping on me, in fact it brings me great joy.  I am truly surprised when I wake up and find myself twisted like a pretzel with Sampson hogging the bed and I actually smile.

There are some nights when it is too warm and he gets off the bed and lies on the floor.  I don’t sleep any better for it.  In fact, sometimes I try to coax Delilah to take his spot.

When I was away in Florida last week I didn’t sleep any better without the dogs.

Being the worrier that I am, I much prefer them in the room with me, if there are any issues I know about it immediately…..unless I pop a Xanax, then they’re on their own. 🙂

Thanks for reading, enjoy your weekend!

What Keeps You Awake At Night?

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I’ve been having trouble sleeping.  Not just lately either.  In my adult life, I’ve struggled with sleep for about the last 10 years.  Some nights are better than others, where I do sleep but wake frequently, whether it be to use the bathroom or to just turn over.  Sometimes I go right back to sleep and other times it takes a while.

Then there are those nights when I can’t seem to fall asleep.  My mind is racing with all kinds of important and unimportant thoughts.

I’ve been working on it.  I am currently seeing a Dr. that leans towards the Holistic side, which is exactly what I am looking for.  I try to stay with the natural remedies, but when I go two, three, four nights with little to no sleep, I always have my trusty Xanax. 🙂

I think part of it is noise.  It used to be that I could not sleep without a white noise fan.  A troublesome issue if you are traveling, as this means you must always bring your fan with you.

We started using the noisemaker when our daughters got into their late teens.  Many nights they would be coming home much later than we went to bed, or they were up late watching TV in the living which was just below our bedroom. The white noise machine helped cut down on the noise, enabling us a better sleep.

When we had the freak snowstorm last October and lost power for a week, we had no white noise.  We adjusted to life without it and haven’t been using it since.

I didn’t sleep well Sunday, which wasn’t surprising, since I don’t usually sleep well on Sunday nights.  I think Monday morning and the work week weigh heavily on my mind on Sunday nights.

This past Monday it was incredibly hot and became necessary to turn the air conditioner on in the bedroom.  Monday night I didn’t sleep very well.  (I think it was the noise from the air conditioner and me not being use to it.)

Tuesday it was cool enough to sleep with the windows open, but we used the fan to cut down on the outside noise.  This was more or less to keep a crazy chocolate lab from barking in the middle of the night.  (It didn’t.)

Tuesday night I woke up a LOT.  Every time I woke up there was someone else that woke up too.  Someone who had their body pressed up against mine, who lifted their head, or shifted themselves to be closer to the Mama, encouraging physical contact.

Please pet me Mama, he seemed to say.  And pet him I did.  Over and over.  Ear rubbies, head rubbies, belly rubbies; all night long I pet Sampson.

Hubby said when he got up to shower Wednesday morning he thought Sampson was going to lay on top of me, he was that close.

Mornings Delilah gets up and heads out to the kitchen with Hubby, because she knows when he has finished packing his lunch, he will give her a couple of carrots or biscuits.

Sometimes Sampson goes, sometimes he stays in bed with Mama for morning rubbies.   Surprisingly enough, he stayed with me Wednesday morning, despite all the attention I had showered upon him during the night, he still wanted more. 🙂

Last night Hubby said he couldn’t sleep because Sampson was running against his back.  He says Sampson must have run for miles in his sleep, all the while his feet against Hubby’s back.

I slept like I was getting paid to do it.  (I had popped a Xanax.)

Do your pets ever keep you up because they want attention?  What do you do when you cannot sleep?

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