Heart Like a Dog

The Good, the Bad, and the Oh My God of living with dogs!

It’s a Doggone Shame

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Delilah and Sampson here at the keyboard, to once again join our friends Koly and Felix from Kol’s Notes and Sherman and Leroy from My Brown Newfies in their amazing Human Shaming Blog hop.

humanshaming1

Delilah: I don’t know about you Sampson, but I’ve been waiting all year for this, I mean don’t get me wrong, I love the Mama, I really do, but sometimes I have to pray to that great canine in the sky, Sirius, for help with poor, simple Mama.

Sampson: You’re too hard on her Dee, you just never cut her some slack.

Delilah: Cut her some slack? Sam I’ve been attempting to train this woman for over six years!  Do you realize how much of my life I’ve spent trying to get this woman to follow me on a walk?  She’s fifty-three years old and still has to be on a leash for dog’s sake!!

Sampson: Um, Delilah I think you’re missing the point of the walk, it’s our job to stay with the Mama.

Delilah: Who told you THAT?

Sampson: It’s in the Canine Companion Book of Rules.  You have read that, right?

Delilah: That’s neither here nor there, the point is while The Mama is highly amusing to her human friends, she is exploiting us in photos and stories.  Oh wait, I forget, she’s never put a photo of you pooping or lifting your leg to pee, like she has me.  I’ll be honest, I’d expect something like that from the cat, but it shouldn’t EVER be from The Mama.

Sampson: Come on Delilah, you have to admit, that picture of you all hunched over in a poop stance was funny.

Delilah: Maybe to you, but NOT to me.  I have a reputation to uphold, a sense of dogcorum that must be adhered to.

Sampson: I understand your frustration Delilah, I really do, but I think we got a little off track, we’re supposed to be shaming The Mama in PICTURES.

Delilah: Fine!  You may remember last year we were able to get her to hold signs showing her shame, but not this year.  She wouldn’t fall for it twice, so we had to resort to just taking the pictures and adding the captions after.  Honestly, she’s not as dumb as she looks.  And if you saw her dressed for her walk, you’d KNOW she looks dumb.

But without further arguing with Blunder Boy…

Sampson: Not nice, Dee, not nice!

Delilah: Here is my contribution to the blog hop.

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Delilah: Look at her!  Not only is she dressed like a hobo, she has a bag of dingleberries hanging off her pants!  Who in Dog’s Name walks around with a bag of doody on their pants?  And it’s not too far from the treat bag, and she says the treats from China are tainted.  At least they aren’t shit flavored.

And she wonders why I run.

Sampson: BOL!  That was funny. You eat shit in the yard.

Delilah: This is my picture Sampson, I get to say what I want.  Shut your pie hole and put your picture up.

Sampson: Okay, here’s mine:

Potty Shaming

Sampson: Oh Mama, you disappoint me so when you do this.  I mean, I grew up next to Mrs.”I can’t keep my nose inside my house” next door neighbor and Grandma. I can’t help but dash outside when you say, “What’s that?” or “Did you hear that?” or “Who’s got this one?”  You’re taking advantage of the curious nature that was nurtured in me by my Grandma, how can you do that?

And speaking of Grandmas, I’d like to wish my Grandma a very Happy Birthday.  I love you Grandma!

Delilah: I love you too Grandma, have a very happy day!

I’m so sad, it’s over already.  I kind of like this blogging stuff….especially when I’m shaming The Mama.

What do you think about this shaming stuff?  Did you get shamed?  Hop along and see what other pups had to say about their humans.



Abstract Art

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One of the big reasons I started this blog was for all the crazy, funny things my dogs do that bring a smile to my face or a laugh to my lips.

Sometimes it’s not easy to write a full blog post about it and sometimes I forget to share.

Some posts will be You Make Me Laugh and others will be You Make Me Smile, but they will all be the silly, sweet, funny things Sampson and Delilah do that help make crazy days just a little bit easier.

Feel free to share what your pet does to make you laugh/smile in the comments.

photo-9 Delilah, when you push your bowl all around the house, enthusiastically licking it and the results are a beautiful display of abstract art; you make me smile.

Your turn, does your dog lick their bowl?  Delilah licks hers, then she licks Sampson’s and then she licks hers again.  I’ve found her bowl under the table, under the pool table, behind the breakfast bar, but this is the first time I found it on top of Sampson’s bowl.

Is it wrong to want to frame this picture?

I’ll Take Things You See on a Walk for $10 Alex

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I got my love of walking from my Grandfather.  So many cherished childhood memories involve walking the neighborhood with him.  (My love of thunder and lightening storms comes from him as well.)

The most important thing my grandfather taught me about walking was to keep my head down, because sometimes you find money.

Except I walk in the woods now, so mostly I’m watching out for hazards, such as roots, rocks, branches, poop and sometimes animals.  I also have to keep my head up to watch for other people, dogs, spider webs and wild animals.  It’s a fine line trying to keep my head up as well as keeping my head down.  Many is the time I’ve tripped over a root or rock.

Some walks are better than others.  It’s just the nature of the beast.

Take last Friday for instance.  Sampson, Delilah and I had just stepped into the field and Delilah was sniff, sniff, sniffing around.  I can always tell when she’s about to dive into something and sure enough, “Eck!  Leave it!” I screamed just as she dropped.  Sometimes I can see what she’s rolled in, other times I can’t.  Unfortunately for me, this was one of those times when I could.  Actually I looked down and saw the frog’s legs.

Ewwwwww.

I normally rinse the dogs off after a walk but rolling in frog legs meant shampoo because there was no way she’s going in my house with dead frog all smushed in her fur.

Le sigh.

We walked around the field and headed into the woods, then I noticed something else had caught the attention of both dogs.  Looking down I saw a smashed bird egg, sadly I could see the little embryo of the bird still inside the egg.  (If you’re not grossed out by such things, you can see the photo of the egg here.  Just scroll down past the really cute photos of my dogs.)

This is turning out to be one of those walks I thought to myself as I bent down and gently scooped the egg up into a plastic baggie.

A bit further along, I’m pretty sure Sampson was about to eat something vile, so I “Eck! ecked” again and while I was busy distracting Delilah from the eck Sampson was busy investigating this.

All from Camera 8-4-13 004 I was fairly certain it was a box turtle, but I always worry about snappers so I turned to tell Sampson to “leave it.”  I was so busy trying to distract the dogs and keep them out of trouble, that I almost missed this.

All from Camera 8-4-13 009 There was a book of matches not too far from it, so I’m assuming that someone went into their pocket to pull out the matches to smoke a cigarette and must have dropped their money.  Serves them right for lighting a match in the woods. 😀

I figure it was the Universe’s way of telling me to relax a little and enjoy my surroundings.

A few minutes later, I noticed a couple of trees had begun to turn their spring coats to the glorious colors of fall.

All from Camera 8-4-13 007

Can you see it?  The way some of the leaves have turned  yellow?

All from Camera 8-4-13 006

My footsteps a little lighter, my heart a little happier I headed for home.

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