Four Gifts for Pets Blog Hop

December 9, 2015 By Jodi

Today we’re participating in the Four Gifts for Pets Blog Hop, hosted by Kol’s Notes.

I guess the basis for this hop is something Ellen DeGeneres does, unless I’m totally not understanding Jodi correctly, (which is of course a distinct possibility.) The way I understand it, parents are to buy four gifts for their children at Christmas, something they want, something they need, something to wear and something to read. It’s an admirable endeavor because speaking only from my point of view, MOST kids I know these days get entirely too much. I mean really…does an 8-year old need a smart phone?

Sorry, I digress.

I thought it’d be fun to approach this blog hop from my perspective and then I’ll tackle each of the dogs as well.

So something I WANT is to be able to walk my dogs without worrying about dumb ass dog owners. (Hey, it doesn’t HAVE to be a material thing, does it?)

Something I NEED is a private session with a good/positive dog trainer. (Yes, I’m actually working on this one. You can give these things to yourself, yes?)

Something to WEAR would be a dog walker’s vest. You know, the one with every feature a dog walker could POSSIBLY want! (Believe it or not, I’ve designed one myself, I just haven’t put the work into it to get it into production.)

Something to READ would be a my own book in print. (HELL YES, sign me up for that shit.)

Now for the dogs. Jodi gave us the choice or want/wear/need/read or want/wear/need/eat. So for the dogs I choose eat, because their dogs. Duh and they like to eat.

Of course, it’s ENTIRELY my point of view and if they could actually talk, they might say something different, but they can’t so HAH.

Sampson says,

I WANT walks, lots and lots of walks. I want walks around people, people who will pay attention to me and love on me. Walks in the woods, without a leash, walks on trails, walks in parks. I want walks.

I NEED belly rubs. Lots and lots of belly rubs. And ear rubs too. And pets on the head, basically I just want you to sit and pet me all day long.

I don’t need anything to WEAR. I’m a dog damn it, dogs aren’t supposed to wear clothes. Dogs aren’t supposed to WEAR anything. God wanted us to WEAR fur and that’s what we WEAR, we don’t need anything else.

For EATs I want steak. Lots of steak, big, fat, juicy steaks cooked medium rare. I’d say give it to me raw and wriggling but that would squeam my mom out.

I don’t think that’s too much for a dog to ask for, is it?

Delilah’s thoughts:

I WANT food. This rationed shit Mama has us on is for the birds. You should see the tiny bits of food she gives us, I thought I was in the land of milk and honey, but NO. I landed in the Stone soup pot.

I NEED food. Shit, a dog has to have food to survive, how else am I going to keep doing things to write about if I’m wasting away to nothing. She expects me to perform like a trained monkey, but what do I get? Rations. Food that could barely sustain a Malti-poo, never mind a curvy dog like myself. I NEED food.

I agree with Sampson that dogs shouldn’t WEAR anything, but I’ll make an exception and WEAR a sausage link necklace, I think wearable food is something every dog should have. Besides which, when she hands me out those skimpy rations, I can always eat my necklace. Can I change the above answer to I NEED unlimited wearable food?

I’ll EAT anything. Anything you give me (and even stuff you won’t give me) I’ll eat. You know what they say, if it looks like food and smells like food, it’s probably food.

READ, I know, I know, I’ve already gone above and beyond with my answers, but I know the Mama would like you to think I’m just a simple dog with simple tastes but that’s not entirely true. I can be a refined when I have to and I’m not above rising to the challenge, so I’ll take READ for $400 Alex. And the answer for the book I’d like to READ is “Eat, Pray, Love.”

I said it was a book, I didn’t say it wouldn’t be food related. I’m a lab after-all.

Have you done the four gifts? How would you/your dog answer?

Please join us tomorrow for Barks and Bytes Blog Hop hosted by 2 Brown Dawgs and yours truly. Hopefully the linky tool will be working this week.

Thank you so much to Kol’s Notes for this fun hop.

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There Goes Delilah

December 8, 2015 By Jodi

I may have mentioned a time or two, that we do not live in a very friendly neighborhood. We do know our neighbors on either side of us but for the most part, the neighbors keep to themselves. Maybe we get a wave here or there, but mostly they stick to themselves.

We have met one lovely neighbor who lives across the street from us. We met her when a branch from her tree fell, and brushed Hubby’s Jeep as he was coming home from the park with Sampson in the car. Hubby and I went over to help clean up the tree and that’s when we met Ms. Erika.

She is an older woman who lives with MS and she is truly one of those remarkable people. Even though she has bad days, most days you’ll see her slowly making her way down her driveway with her walker in order to get her mail. In fact, the very first time we met her, she was outside picking up small bits of branches and carrying them to the trash using her walker.

Miss Erika is originally from Sweden and she lives alone. Her husband passed away before we met her and she recently lost her furry companion, her kitty Molly. Miss Erika absolutely LOVES Sampson and Delilah and they love her in return!

Every time we walk past her house, Sampson and Delilah look up at it, hoping to see her. If she’s at the window and calls to us, we have to go see her. She’ll come out and sit on her steps and then the dogs go over to say hello.

If I run into Miss Erika without the dogs, like in the grocery store…she always asks after Simon and Delilah. LOL, sometimes she forgets and calls Sampson, Simon. But when she sees him, she remembers his name.

Miss Erika has a friend that brings her to the grocery store every Sunday. She pulls up to the store and lets Miss Erika out, then they both do their grocery shopping.

Sunday, the dogs and I were just coming back from our afternoon walk when Miss Erika and her friend Denise passed us. They both waved excitedly and since we were almost home anyway, and Miss Erika’s house was just one house up, I thought I’d take the dogs over to say hello.

Miss Erika was sitting in the car when we got to her driveway, while Denise was setting up the walker. Sampson quickly said hello to Miss Erika and then started ‘chatting’ with Denise. I was paying attention to Sampson and Denise, while Delilah was saying hello to Miss Erika.

Suddenly Miss Erika said, “And there goes Delilah.”

I turned in time to see Delilah pushing her way past Miss Erika’s legs as she climbed into the front floor of the car. Before you could say, “DELILAH” she was over the front seat and into the back one, inspecting the groceries.

I had to drop her leash, run around the car and extract her via the rear passenger door. Yeah. You read that right. My dog climbs OVER a disabled woman to try and eat her groceries. There goes my hopes for the Canine Companion certificate.

No! Of course, I didn’t pull out the camera to snap her picture. Can you imagine? “Um, excuse me Denise? Would you mind holding Sampson’s leash while I take a photo of Delilah scavenging through your groceries?”

Because clearly, Delilah is so food motivated that she is fearless in her attempts to find food.

Need proof?

This was Delilah checking out an empty crate after one of our training classes. Note, the crates are stacked on top of each other and she’s working on the top one.