Heart Like a Dog

The Good, the Bad, and the Oh My God of living with dogs!

Doggie Doo

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Have you been to a toy store recently?

Typically when I shop in a toy store I have a specific item I’m looking for for my grandchildren.  I go into the store, head right to the specific area, grab what I need and turn around and head right back out.

That all changed last Friday when my sister and I took our four-year-old niece shopping for her birthday.

My sister was looking for games to play with our niece in our hotel room, which is how I came across this.

The dog is smiling because he feels ten pounds lighter after taking a major dump.

The dog is smiling because he feels ten pounds lighter after taking a major dump.

I stood in the aisle at Toys R Us

What the fuck is wrong with people?

What the fuck is wrong with people?

I couldn’t control myself, I knew it was wrong but it was like my hands were being controlled by something other than my mind.  I picked up the game and turned it over.

Let's see what the game description says.

Let’s see what the game description says.

Feed and walk your little pup.  When he makes a mess you clean it up!

My best guess was the ‘game’ involved feeding the dog something along the lines of play doh which would then come out the other end.

Once again it was like my fingers were detached from my brain.  I youtubed it.

GAH it’s even worse than I thought!  Do you see the excited looks and the clapping that’s going on? How about the joy on their faces as they pump that little handle and point at his doggy ass?

Do you think that will change the first time they stoop down to pick up a real doggy ass bomb?  Or the first time the bag breaks and they juggle dog doo with their bare hands?

I know, I know, it’s teaching responsible dog ownership, but seriously folks, I think you’re pitching this product to the wrong age group.

As all this rushed through my mind I happened to glance over at the game right next to Doggie Doo.

Honestly, what kind of messages are we teaching our children?

Honestly, what kind of messages are we teaching our children?

I stuck my hands in my pocket and walked away.

WHAT THE ?

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Graphic Designed by Julie Melfi, Creative Leg Up.

Graphic Designed by Julie Melfi, Creative Leg Up.

It’s been a while since I came up with a WTF Wednesday post.  Mostly because it got too depressing seeing all the stupid things that people were doing to animals, but this one was just too hard to pass up.  (Note this photo came across my Facebook page, the photo was found on techcrunch)

Say it with me. WHAT THE FUCK?

Say it with me. WHAT THE FUCK?

Now listen, I don’t like picking up dog crap any better than the rest of you, but when the day comes where I think harnessing my dog up and strapping a bag on its ass is easier than bending down to pick up poop, take my dog away from me and add me to the do not adopt list.

If this doesn’t scream, “YOU SHOULDN’T OWN A DOG” I don’t know what does.  Really, you still have to deal with shit, why not just save yourself a five minute dog wrestle and bend over and pick up the shit?  Besides any dog I know is not going to stand still while I strap a bag on its ass.

NOT HAPPENING.

I’ve been told that dogs don’t experience embarrassment the way people do, but I have a feeling that if I strapped a bag to my dog’s ass, I’d be the one embarrassed, not to mention the potential lawsuits.

Driver: There I was officer, driving down the street when I saw this dog with a bag strapped to its ass.  Of its own accord my head whipped around and I never even saw that parked car, I’m just grateful the pedestrian jumped out of the way of my careening car.

Officer: What do you mean, it had a bag on its ass?  Was it wrapped around its legs?  Did it swallow it and was trying to push it out?

Driver: No officer!  The bag was to CATCH the poop.

Officer: Ma’am, have you been drinking?  I know it’s only 9:00 AM but where are coming from, was there liquor there?

Driver: Officer, I swear, the dog had a bag strapped to its ass.  Like harnessed and intentionally, Strapped. To. Its. Ass.  Oh, oh, there it is, look over there!

Officer: Summabitch, I hope the cruiser cam is catching this, it will help your case stand up in court.  Where the Fu… is my ticket book?  That’s cruelty to animals right there.”  Hits button on his mike, “Dispatch?  Send animal control over to ……they’re gonna have to see this shit to believe it.”

Don't get any ideas Mama, I will bite you.

Don’t get any ideas Mama, I will bite you.

That to me is the epitome of laziness.  I cannot believe that someone actually invented this and I have to tell you, if I EVER see a dog with this strapped to its ass, the likelihood of me going West Virginia Back-woods Hood-rat on that owner, are probably pretty damn good.  

Whoo Hoo

Because my little badge at the top of the page says WTF/Whoo Hoo, I am going to share some exciting news in the dog world.   Minnesota has become the first state in the U.S., and first political body in the world, to mandate that laboratory dogs and cats be adopted when the research is over!  The Beagle Freedom Project was instrumental in making this happen!!  Personally I’d like to see them end animal testing all together, but hey it’s a start!

WTF/WHOO HOO Wednesday

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I had an entirely different post planned for today and then last night Lauren from Life With Desmond posted a link on my facebook page that said WTF Wednesday Worthy.  I clicked the link and read the article with my mouth open.

And then a voice that sounded a lot like Tone Loc said, “Let’s Do It.”

So back not by popular demand, but because my inner Loc is screaming, here once again is WTF/Whoo Hoo Wednesday.

Graphic Designed by Julie Melfi, Creative Leg Up.

Graphic Designed by Julie Melfi, Leg Up Creative Solutions.

 

Florida governor RETURNED the rescue dog he adopted for his 2010 campaign…AFTER he’d won – The Governor’s Office, Florida

Yup, you read it right.  Rick Scott adopted a dog shortly after he won the republican nomination, used and campaigned with the “rescue” dog and a month after he took office, returned the dog.

Image from politix.topix.com

Image from politix.topix.com (they took it from Rick Scott’s Facebook page)

 

His official statement?

“He was a rescue dog,” Scott said, “and he couldn’t be around anybody that was carrying anything, and so he wouldn’t get better.”

Of course he wouldn’t get better, not on his own you stupid slug.  I get that you’re the freaking GOVERNOR, and may not have the time to work with him but it’s not like you can’t find a trainer to HELP the dog get better.

If I’d voted for your ass I’d be calling your office up and asking for my vote back, you filthy little toe rag.

One of the articles I researched said Rick Scott is going to be a grandfather this year.

I can picture him holding a crying baby, “Shhh, shhhh little baby,” sighs, jiggles the baby a bit “ it-won’t-stop-crying. Oh here, go back to your mother.

Whoo Hoo

Really, what would a WTF post be without a little Whoo Hoo?

This little video came across my facebook page on Sunday evening.  Really, I could watch it over and over again with tears streaming down my face every time.

It’s long (7 minutes) but you’ll be hooked, I promise.

So how’s your week been? Any WTF or Whoo Hoo’s you’d like to share?

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