Both the dogs in my house have SDS.

You may know it in lay terms as Spoiled Dog Syndrome.

It manifests itself in a number of different ways, but here is a prime example.

We all have assigned spots on the bed, Hubby and I each on one side, Sampson in between us and Delilah curled up at the bottom in the middle.

Normally I use carrots to lure Sampson into his position.  While I’m going this, Delilah sits next to the bed.  (One for Delilah, one for Sampson.  One for Sampson, one for Delilah.)

Once they’ve both had their carrots, Delilah jumps up and I pet and love her for a few minutes, then I settle in to read until I’m tired.

Tuesday night after all the carrots had been dispensed, Delilah jumped up on the bed but stretched out on the wrong side.

This basically turned me into a Lab sandwich.  I didn’t mind so much because it was warm and I thought it was cute and figured she’d move by the time I’d finished reading.

I woke up at 11:15, the light was still on, Delilah was still on the wrong side of me and a lumberjack had replaced my Hubby in the bed.

I shut off the light and tried to wiggle my way into a lying position.

I couldn’t.

I thought well I can sleep sitting up, I mean I just slept sitting up for about half an hour, why couldn’t I do it again?

I forgot about the lumberjack in my bed.  He was cutting some heavy wood, the chainsaw working over-time.

I tossed in the towel, got up and took a half a Xanax.  I know, I know!  I don’t like to ingest unhealthy things, but I do make an exception for alcohol and Xanax, although not normally at the same time.

I went into the other room to play a mindless game until I fell asleep.  After about an hour I got tired, so I shut the light off and lay down to sleep.

What was that noise? Is someone outside? I got up and looked out the window. Why is the motion sensor light on?  Who’s out there?  Am I in danger?

I gave it up and thought I’ll try reclining on the couch and see if that works, but changed my mind and instead headed back to the bedroom.

I’ll take my chances with the lumberjack, at least his snoring should scare off an intruder.

The lumberjack was still at work, but the blade had dulled somewhat so the sawing wasn’t so intense. I think I might be able to do this!

Except Sampson was stretched across my pillow.

Please Mama, I’m trying to get my beauty rest.

Thankfully Delilah had moved, she was now curled against the lumberjack’s legs.

 

Do not disturb my REM cycle.

I stroked Sampson’s head, you gonna let Mama in buddy?

Nothing.

What the hell, why not? 

I pulled back the blanket, threw a pillow down and curled up at the bottom of the bed, next to Delilah.

After a few minutes I thought I heard a growl.  (Delilah has some scarring on her feet and there are certain times (mostly when she’s sleeping) where she does not like anything moving near her feet.)

I figured the lumberjack must have moved.

Just on the verge of sleeping when Delilah barks.  I open my eyes to find her staring at me.

Stop it, I say.  Lay down and go to sleep.

Two minutes later she barks again.

I open my eyes to find her staring at me once again. Like I moved in that tiny corner lot I had!

Why not?  I’ve already lost hours of sleep, what’s a few more minutes?  I proceed to have a staring contest, in the dark with my dog.  Finally I look at her and point with my finger and tell her get down.

She stares at me.

I point again, get down!

She scootches over and puts her head under my chin.

We both sigh and fall asleep.

And that’s how Hubby found me curled up at the bottom of the bed on Wednesday morning.

What happened last night babe?

What are you talking about Paul Bunyon?

(I apologize for my lack of pictures, but flashes definitely disturb the REM cycle.)