When you have a dog like Delilah you have to stay on your toes.  

She can go weeks, even months on end without destroying anything in the house. (Although she does have a weakness for napkins, tissues and paper towels).

In fact, she can be so good, that you actually let your guard down.  And it’s then, and only then, that she strikes.

BAM! 

In her defense, it’s really our fault.  

No really.  We know she is a food thief and yet we still leave shit lying around.

Like the hamburger bun I mentioned in yesterday’s post.  

Hear me out.

It was a long day and I was tired.  I didn’t feel like cooking.  I  was on my way home from a hair appointment and I asked Hubby to order us some burgers from our local Chili’s.

Since I’m gluten-free I usually order the burger without the bun, but the last time I did it, the cheese stuck to the foil they wrapped the burger in.  And that pissed me off.

So this time I ordered the bun.  I figured it’s easier to scrape cheese off a bun, then aluminum foil.  I mean anyone with silver fillings can tell you exactly how awful aluminum foil is.  

**Shiver** I just had a sympathy zap right there.

Except Hubby forgot to tell them to put cheese on the damn burger, so  I was slightly disappointed and I took the bun, wrapped it in the foil and tossed it in the sink.

The kitchen sink.  You know the one the garbage can sits under? 

This was my first mistake.

You see, I could have simply opened the cabinet door and stuck the bun in the bin, but I was lazy and slovenly and I left the bun in the sink.

That was my second mistake.

In my defense, the garbage was full and I intended to take the garbage out and I would have thrown the bun then, but it was a long day and I was tired.  Oh wait, I already said that. Geez, it sucks when your mind goes.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, the bun.  In the sink.  

Not to be confused or mistaken for a bun in the oven.

Anyhow, I probably walked past the sink at least twice, each time marveling that the bun was still there and that’s where I became complacent.

Or maybe I was just testing her. Yeah, let’s go with that. I was testing her.

I’m embarrassed to tell you that I actually left that bun in the sink overnight.  

I know, I’m disappointed in myself too.  There’s just no excuse for my laziness.

As I climbed into bed that night I had a brief and fleeting thought about that bun in the sink and I thought to myself, Delilah will probably get up in the night and eat that bun.

Except she didn’t!

When I got up the bun was still in the sink.  So I went to the bathroom and that’s when she went into the sink and took the bun.  

She brought it (like she brings all her trashures) into the living room, in front of the fireplace and that’s where she ate it.

To her credit, she left the foil.  

I guess the foil bothers her teeth too.

Bad dogs, talking bout’ the bad, bad, bad, bad dogs….

It was raining a bit when we set out for our walk yesterday morning.  It was definitely a lot warmer than it has been, but when I stepped out the door, there was a bit of ice on the steps.

Rather than boot the dogs up and walk them on possibly icy roads, I loaded them both into the car and drove to the park.

The  paths through the woods were icy, but I let Sampson off leash and without the competition, Delilah did pretty well.  Sampson even jumped into the car on our way out of the park.

The rain continued on and off all day, often heavy at times and I was dreading our afternoon walk.  But right around 4 PM the rain slacked off.  We all got our gear on and headed out.

I decided to stay off the icy paths of the woods and instead walk around the block.  About half-way through I had a thought.  Sometimes these thoughts are not good, because sometimes, they are a precursor for things to come.

Like when I’m speeding down the highway and think, “Gee I haven’t seen cop today.”  Sure enough, one shows yup, usually with a radar gun in his hand.

But this post isn’t about cops with radar guns, this post is about dogs.

Bad dogs.

So here I was, thinking, wow this has been a great walk.  The dogs are walking nicely on leash, they aren’t zigging and zagging from side to side, no-one has gotten their leash stuck under their leg, one dog hasn’t clothes-lined the other dog and I haven’t had my hands crushed or a leash wrapped around my leg.  We haven’t run into another person, car or dog.  It’s an ENJOYABLE walk.

And while I stood there, glorying in this small miracle and trying to figure out how to make a blog post out of it….Delilah at dog shit.

Besides being disgusting and gross this is problematic in a number of ways.  

1) Delilah is ALL Lab, she licks things.  Things outside and things in the house.  Things like the counter if she can get away with it, the floor, your plate if she thinks your not looking AND she drinks out of the same water bowl as Sampson.  EWWWWW it’s worse than a kid backwashing in your cup.

2) I’m trying really hard to get those elevated liver levels under control and part of this is controlling what goes in her mouth.  Dog shit is not on that list.

And 3) I use treats on our walks and there’s no way in hell, I’m reaching down to give her a treat after she’s eaten dog shit. 

No friggin’ way.

Immediately after she ate the shit, we had to pass a dog.  So there I am trying to walk past the dog while breaking off a piece of lamb lung, keeping myself from getting tangled up in their leashes, and pitch the treat into her gaping pie hole, praying my aim stays poor and I don’t actually shoot one down her throat and choke the dog.  Nothing worse than having to Heimlich your dog (who just ate shit) on the side of the road.

I told you this story is about bad dogs.  Bad dogs get their teeth brushed when they come home from a walk.

See how quickly the worm can turn?  WTF does that mean anyway?  How do you keep your dogs from eating bad things, whether it be in the house, yard or on a walk?