Heart Like a Dog

The Good, the Bad, and the Oh My God of living with dogs!

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I Know Things Without Knowing, You Know?

September 1, 2015 By Jodi

Sometimes I have ESP.

Don’t get excited, it’s not the kind of ESP that predicts the outcome of sporting events or winning lottery numbers or anything. Truthfully, I’m not very good at recognizing it even as ESP and I definitely don’t know how to hone it in.

How it works is like this, I’m driving down the highway and all of a sudden I think, “Gee I haven’t seen a cop in a long time,” and then a mile down the road, there’s a cop shooting radar or writing a ticket to some poor soul that doesn’t have ESP.

OR

Sometimes it works like this, I write a blog post about a command I’m using called, “Stop!”

In the post I say, “There’s also another command we’ve been working on. It’s called Stop. I typically use this command when the dogs are both off-leash in the woods. Suddenly I will say, “Stop!” and reward them when they do. My thought process is this – to have a command so solid, the dogs will do it without even thinking. So now when that wayward deer shows up and my dog takes off, (and I panic forgetting my recall word) I yell, “Stop!” and my dog will cease what he/she’s doing and actually stop. Once I’ve gotten their attention, (and gathered my wits again) I can easily recall them back to me.”

My posts are scheduled to publish at midnight. So today’s post was actually written yesterday. I wrote my Stop Means Stop! post last Wednesday night and published it Thursday. Thursday afternoon I took the dogs for their afternoon walk in the woods. It was a fairly good walk, Delilah had been well behaved so I decided to let her off-leash for the last bit of trail walking.

I love you Mama.

I love you Mama.

She is jauntily walking along beside me looking adoringly up at me, when suddenly she stiffens up and Sampson does too. Then they quicken their pace down the hill.

I’m looking ahead, but I can’t see anything, so I say, “I don’t see anything”

Suddenly a Mama deer and her baby pop out of a side trail onto the main trail. Delilah’s already on it.

I keep my head about me and yell “Stop”. Delilah is in hot pursuit, ears flying tail wagging and running as if her life depends on it. She either can’t hear me OR she’s choosing to ignore me.

Going, going, gone.

Going, going, gone.

My brain engages, stop isn’t working so I yell, “Sampson, Delilah, NO!”

By now Sampson has realized that he in fact, cannot run down a deer, but Delilah, Delilah has not figured this out yet. She’s ready to give it the old Labrador try.

The deer however have figured out that a crazy, barking dog is chasing them, so they hightail it down the path. The deer hit the end of the main trail and head towards the main road, with Delilah right behind them. My brain then says, “Shit, if she leaves the park, it’s anybody’s guess where she’ll end up.”

Delilah hits the end of the path and something clicks. She has either decided that she cannot in fact, run down a deer or she finally hears, “Stop.” As quickly as she started running, she has stopped, and turned around, running happily back up to me.

I breathe a deep sigh of relief. I’ll take it as a win.

I just wish my ESP spelled things out. Like, put your dog’s leash on, there’s deer about to pop out at you.

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Filed Under: Humor Tagged With: Delilah, Heart Like A Dog, Humor, Life With Sampson And Delilah

Don’t Count Us Out

August 25, 2015 By Jodi

In last Sunday’s (August 16, 2015) You Make Me Smile post,  Jan said, “I liked the posts of yesteryear when she led you on some hilarious misadventures. Funny for us, not for you.”

I responded with “Oh trust there are still adventures, don’t count us out yet. “

These aren’t epic. Like her running off and getting her leash lodged under the concrete of a central air conditioning unit (Part 1, Part 2 )or walking into someone’s garage to check for food, or even knocking me into the street while she chased a leaf.

Still I hope these might be enough so you don’t count us out just yet.

Petals in the wind – Some of you may recall I was helping my sister care for my aunt who passed away in June.  My sister (having cared for her for many years) and I sent a lovely bouquet of flowers to place in the casket.

After the service I brought the flowers home and placed them on my fireplace mantle, where I let them sit, and sit, and sit. Eventually as the flower petals dropped to the floor, I determined it was time to toss them.

I kept one flower. It was a yellow rose and I was drying it so I could press it. I set the flower on the dining room table, where it stayed. For about a month.

Last week I came home to find the stem and the ovary (I looked it up. Holy shit, who knew flowers had ovaries?) on the floor. The petals were gone, eaten by a hungry chocolate lab.

Two petals, the ovary and the stem, that's all that's left.

Two petals, the ovary and the stem, that’s all that’s left.

Thanks for eating Aunt Edie’s flower Delilah!

Here’s the big surprise. I didn’t even call the vet.

Sunday Funday – Sunday Hubby made breakfast. (It’s been a long time since he made breakfast and I was quite excited about it.) Of course, he was rushing to leave the house and so the pans and utensils sat on the stove where he left them.

I was running out myself and had seen Delilah eyeing the stove, so I moved what I thought was everything into the back of the sink, where I was certain she wouldn’t be able to reach them.

I ran to throw a quick load of laundry in, so it would be ready for the dryer when I got home. I stepped out of the laundry to discover this on the floor.

That's my small, very sharp Santoku knife.

That’s my small, very sharp Santoku knife.

I siriusly checked her mouth for blood.

Breakfast of Champions – Yesterday she jumped backwards so high, she was able to get a lick of her food from her food bowl being held at about the five foot level.

Tempting Fate – Yesterday during our afternoon walk, I took her off-leash in the field. I held my hand out to her in the “wait” command and started walking away. I got about 15 feet away and she ran right up to me. Considering all the times she’s run in the opposite direction, I couldn’t be mad. Instead I treated her.

Three minutes later when we entered the woods, she took off down a trail the kids made. She stood on the rock, staring out at the great unknown, with all of it’s delicious and intriguing smells and noms.

“Don’t do it” I said.

She squatted and peed as if to say, I only had to pee, geez what’s your angst about?

Still with us Jan? We good? If not, check back with me on Thursday when I fill you in about our STOP command.

Finally, I’d like to send some love to my friend Sue at My Golden Life, her girl Callie went to the bridge yesterday, our hearts are with you my friend. 

Run fast, run free Callie.

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Filed Under: Humor Tagged With: Delilah, Humor, Life With Sampson And Delilah

Dodge Dog

August 18, 2015 By Jodi

Sometimes when Sampson chooses our morning walk he heads up the hill. When he does this he usually has only one destination in mind, the woods. Weekday mornings I sadly have to tell him, “Another time buddy” or “That’s our afternoon walk”. Our morning walks really have to be timed so I can be ready for work, so sadly that leaves us little time for the woods at that time of day.

It’s been so hot and humid lately, not to mention all the neighborhood dogs we’ve had to dodge, that I thought Sunday morning would be a good time for a morning walk in the woods.

Typically we stay on the easy to moderate trails, but the dogs love going deep into the woods. We hadn’t been on the harder trails since before Sampson tore his ACL (which was over 18 months ago), I’m not really sure what possessed me, but the dogs headed that way and I followed them.

I’m not saying it was a mistake, but I will say it wasn’t my most enjoyable walk either. Here’s why.

The bugs swarm me like the drunks swarm the all night diner at 2:00 am. I swatted at the bugs so damn many times I looked like a windmill in the middle of a hurricane. If a plane flying overhead could have seen me through the tree cover, they would have staged a rescue.

Delilah has a tendency to ‘cover’ her business when she goes. She does this by using those lethal back feet of hers and kicking whatever she can find over her ‘stuff.’ Apparently Delilah has no depth perception because she will walk twenty feet away and then without warning, let loose with the dirt. No matter how carefully I watch her, she usually catches me at least once. Sunday was no exception.  It had rained Saturday night so the leaves and dirt were wet. She got me twice. I’m pretty sure at least once, my cursing at her was heard on the rail trail.

Typically I wear socks when I hike, but it was hot. And humid. So I just threw on my sandals and out we went. Remember how I said the leaves and dirt were wet? Yeah. She got my feet.

I love hobbits, but that doesn't mean I want my feet to look like they belong to one.

I love hobbits, but that doesn’t mean I want my feet to look like they belong to one.

These trails have some steep hills. Heading down I’m constantly saying easy, take it easy because I don’t want to lose my footing and pull a Jill on the hill. God only knows how long I’d lie there if I broke my ‘crown.’

And how pray tell, would I swat those bugs away? And what are the odds the rescue plane would seeing my lying down?

There is still a covering of leaves on the trails as well as pebbles, small rocks and sticks, monitoring your down hill speed is imperative.

There is still a covering of leaves on the trails as well as pebbles, small rocks and sticks, monitoring your down hill speed is imperative.

Delilah hikes like she’s the lead dog running the Iditarod, it’s worse if Sampson is on leash, because they are competing to see who gets to the smells first.

Did I mention it was hot and humid? Even at 9:30 am, in the shelter of the woods, it was hot and humid. After about 10 minutes of hiking Sampson was lagging.

The trails are narrow and don’t provide the room that walking on the road does. Delilah had my arm as stretched out as it could be and Sampson was between Delilah and me, straggling along.  Trying to keep up with Delilah while not kicking or taking out Sampson became an entirely new challenge.

Notice how he's slightly behind her. It got worse.

Notice how he’s slightly behind her?  It got worse.

Eventually I was so concerned I’d kick him, I had to let him off leash.

Of course, once he was off-leash he had the energy to run ahead.

Come on peeps, keep up.

Come on peeps, keep up.

By the time we hit the field, I was pretty well done. I’d swatted at about 500 bugs, been covered in dirt twice, was dripping sweat in places I didn’t even know COULD sweat, and I’m pretty sure my left arm is longer than my right one from being pulled hither and yon.

Maybe playing neighborhood dodge dog isn’t as bad as I originally thought.

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Filed Under: Humor Tagged With: hiking, Humor, Life With Sampson And Delilah

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About Jodi

jodiHi, my name is Jodi. Thanks for stopping by and checking out my blog! I have all kinds of fun writing about my two crazy pups, Sampson and Delilah. Find out more!

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Heart Like A Dog by Jodi E. Stone is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at www.heartlikeadog.com.

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