Heart Like a Dog

The Good, the Bad, and the Oh My God of living with dogs!

The Sidler

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I know this is dating me, but are there any Seinfield fans out there? If so, do you remember the episode about the ‘sidler’?

For those who don’t remember (or know) there was this one episode of Seinfield where Elaine had a co-worker that was so quiet, they would suddenly appear and startle/surprise their co-workers.

The suggestion was to give the man a container of Tic Tacs that he could carry in his pocket, with the hope being the Tic Tacs would rattle as he approached and therefore warn his co-workers.

My Goddaughter was a sidler. Every Saturday night we used to hang out with Hubby’s cousin and her husband. Most of the times we’d be playing cards at the kitchen table and the kids would be watching TV in the other room. Inevitably, Sammi, who was six or seven at the time, would wander into the room. Typically we wouldn’t even see her come in to the room, but before you knew it, you were play ing cards with Sammi on your lap. It wasn’t like she came in and came over to sit on your lap, it was more like a very slow, casual thing. She’d stand next to the person she had chosen, then she’d do the one cheek sneak and soon enough she was on your lap.

At one point someone would look up and say, “When did Sam come in”? No-one could answer the question and we’d all laugh.

We joked that we needed to sew a pocket into her nightgown and put a package of Tic Tacs in there, to warn us of her approach.

Flash forward 15 years and I have another sidler in my life. This guy right here.

She lays on the floor one time. ONE TIME, and she complains about dust. She should see her housekeeping from my perspective.

I don’t know what a sidler is, but I hope it comes with fries.

It seems a CCL injury gives this dog sudden Ninja Stealth Super Powers.

Examples:

  • The chipmunks have been out, and Delilah loves trying to catch herself a chipmunk. About a month ago I saw a ‘chippie’ out on the deck. Delilah was on the couch and Sampson was on the living room floor. I went up to Delilah and whispered, “Chippie” and pointed to the door. She got up and hurried over, I stood at the door until she had a bead on the little sucker and then I opened the door. Out she went in a flash! Before I could close the door, Sampson went flying after her. Of course he hit the slippery deck and his back leg failed him and he fell.
  • Dinner time – Every night I fix the dog’s Kongs before I serve them dinner. Delilah ALWAYS comes into the kitchen and waits for me to drop something. At some point in during my routine, I will look over and there is Sampson, patiently lying there watching me, waiting for his dinner.
  • I go into the bathroom to get ready for work and with no noise or notice whatsoever, I look up to see this.
I don't know what a Sidler is, does it come with fries?

Can I get those fries super-sized?

What surprises me the most about this is this, how does he get there? You see Sampson has never been a noisy or clumsy mover (unlike another dog I know.) BUT when he sets himself to lie down, he usually flops. (Unlike another dog I know, who is Super Ninja in THAT department.) So much so, that when you are sleeping you typically feel him flop, because it’s that apparent. Except he’s not doing this.

One second he’s not there, the next second he is. I’m wondering if he’s doing the Army crawl? Do I need a camera for this dog too?

Do you have a sidler in your life?

And just a quick reminder, tomorrow is Blog the Change for Animals, a quarterly blog hop where we share causes, petitions or organizations that are working towards a better life for animals. Won’t you join me, along with my co-hosts Talking Dogs, Pet Faves, and CindyLu’s Muse?

Shhhh, don’t tell anyone, but here’s the code for tomorrow’s hop. 😉

<!– start LinkyTools script –>
<script src=”http://www.linkytools.com/basic_linky_include.aspx?id=268681″ type=”text/javascript”></script>
<!– end LinkyTools script –>

Hope to see you there!

 

All Points Bulletin

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We interrupt your regularly scheduled blog post today to bring you this important public service announcement.

United States of America, April 5, 2016

Today police along with the National Weather Service issued an All Points Bulletin (APB) for Mother Nature and Punxsutawney Phil. These two b-list ‘celebrities’ have been accused of a most duplicitous crime against the American people.

Nine weeks ago, Punxsutawney Phil emerged from his home in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania and boldly predicted an early spring. This prediction came as a surprise to millions as Phil has a solid record of typically predicting six more weeks of winter.

Mother Nature who is reputed to be in collusion with the shifty Ground Hog was scheduled to usher the spring season in on the 20th of March. Yet despite mild temperatures towards the end of March, winter seems to have come back with a vengeance in many areas throughout the United States.

Pictures taken in CT in the last two days confirm the heinous nature of this crime.

kfdjfdjfd

The trees, while thrilled to be resplendent in winter white, were over-burdened with snow and did their best impression of a frat boy after a long night of drinking.

The forsythia are pissed off.

The forsythia have hired an attorney to file a formal complaint against what they are calling an egregious injustice.

Police are requesting the American public be on the look out for the two suspects, but to be wary of approaching either one.

The Internet, especially Facebook is particularly interested in finding Mother Nature, in fact, it seems her information has been shared almost to the point of becoming viral.

Meme found at QuotesGram

Meme found at QuotesGram

Punxsutawney Phil is a ground hog and while typically gentle by nature, Jimmy, Phil’s Wisconsin counter-part did bite the ear that heard him during his last personal appearance.

If you see Mother Nature or Punxsutawney Phil, do not, I repeat DO NOT try and apprehend them yourself, that is best left to the professionals.

Phil?

Phil?

Phil, is that you?

Phil, is that you?

You can run, but you can't. I can smell you, you little fucker.

You can run, but you can’t hide. I can smell you, you little fucker.

Now back to your regularly scheduled program.

Rat-a-tat-tat-tat

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Yesterday was the second day of spring.

Our weather forecasters waffled all weekend. We might have snow, it might be a slushy mix, we were getting a Nor’easter. I decided to take the wait and see approach.

When I got up and looked out my window yesterday morning we’d gotten about four or five inches of snow.

I took Sampson out first. One of the big reasons we walk, is to help get things moving along…if you get my drift.

Being on short walks, Sampson usually does his business within the first five minutes. Yesterday was no exception, and Sampson decided to do his business in the deep snow.

So there’s a reason it’s called a steamer. The poop is leaving a body with temperature of approximately 101 to 102 degrees and hitting air temperature of 28 degrees. AND when something hot hits the snow…well it basically just drops.

Simplified:

The snow is cold.
The poop is hot.
When poop hits snow,
It just drop, drop, drops.

Trying to pick something up that keeps melting the snow around it can be quite challenging. Let’s just say it took me a few minutes and I ended up with a bunch of snow in the bag.

SO when Delilah decided to go under a tree where the snow wasn’t so deep, I was super grateful.

Picking her business up was much easier than Sampson’s, with the exception of her kicking. Delilah tends to kick stuff over her business. (Even though I’m picking it up!)

Typically I know exactly when she’s going to kick and I take evasive maneuvers to avoid whatever it is she’s kicking, dirt, grass…SNOW.

But it was 6:00 am, and apparently I wasn’t quite awake. So I bent over to pick up the poopies and it was like someone was shooting paint balls at my ass.

Rat-a-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat.

I stood up and hissed at her, “Will you please stop pummeling my ass.”

Where's that friggin' coat you promised me?

Well I can’t flush it. As you love to point out, I don’t have opposable thumbs!

Does anyone else have these kinds of problems?

 

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