Heart Like a Dog

The Good, the Bad, and the Oh My God of living with dogs!

My Dogs are Trying to Kill Me – Barks and Bytes

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I think my dogs are trying to kill me.  

Don’t scoff at me like that, I have proof!  One of these days one of my dogs is going to kill me.

 

You're delusional. They make medication for that you know.

You’re delusional. They make medication for that you know.

 It could be from a skull fracture in the house because:

  • Delilah lies on the floor under my reclining seat and I do the wide-legged dance to get up and over her and instead she gets up right as I do and I fall into the stone on the fireplace.
  • Delilah races me to the kitchen after I successfully do the wide-legged dance, she trips me and I tumble down the stairs. 
  • Delilah stands in the doorway of any door I’m trying to enter or exit and I fall over her and smack my head into the wall.
Oh Mama, are you you being dramatic again?

Oh Mama, are  you being dramatic again?

Of course it could always be a massive coronary because:

  • Sampson barks, twitches, and jumps while he’s sleeping next to you and you’re certain he’s having some kind of seizure.
  • Delilah barks or growls during the night because you moved your feet too close to her. (You know how startling it is to have a dog bark in the middle of the night, it’s like the telephone ringing.  It really gets your heart racing.)
  • Sampson can’t remember he had expensive ACL surgery and jumps off a three foot wall. (I think I really felt a pain in my chest when I saw that.)
  • Delilah eats anything (and everything) she can find, regardless if it’s edible or not.  

On second thought, it’s more than likely to happen outside because:

  • Delilah steps in front of me on our walks trying to get at the treat bag and trips me and I fall in the road. 
  • Sampson and Delilah tug me so hard on our walk that I slip and hit my head on a rock.
  • Delilah runs around me to grab a treat and wraps the leash around me.
She is NOT on a two-foot leash.

She is NOT on a two-foot leash.

My best guess is, it will be because Sampson and Delilah each want to travel down a different path and face plant me into a tree.

 

Watch out for that.......tree.

Watch out for that…….tree.

 These dogs….I swear. A lot actually. 😉

Heart Like a Dog

Welcome to Thursday’s Barks and Bytes Blog hop hosted by 2 Brown Dogs and Heart Like a Dog. The Barks and Bytes hop is for anything at all and all bloggers are welcome. You don’t have to be a dog blog to join. For new blog hoppers, a blog hop is list of links that is shared on multiple blogs. In order to be fair to all participants Linda and I ask you to please use the linky list. If your blog does not support a linky list, please link back to either Linda or I.

My Dog is a Dick

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Before Sampson tore his ACL I use to love to walk the dogs.  Once a day we’d head up to the park at the top of the street and I’d wander the woods, letting the cares of the day fall like leaves on a windy day.

Delilah would be on her 15 foot leash, and Sampson would either be on a long leash or I would un-clip him and he would lope along beside me, sniffing whatever his nose caught.  Occasionally we would encounter other people and their dogs, but mostly it was a quiet reflective time for me, and a joyous time for the dogs.

That all changed when Sampson tore his ACL.  Now the bulk of our walks are taken in the neighborhood, usually first thing in the morning and sometime in mid-afternoon.

That quiet reflective time is gone for me.  I am constantly on high alert for DADO’s, dogs in e-fences, joggers, kids catching school buses, etc.  I’m not complaining about these folks (well maybe about the DADO’s and the e-fence dogs just a tiny bit) I mean, they have as much right as I do to be out in public.  If my dogs were better trained, (and yes, I am working on it) then my walks would be more enjoyable.

Delilah has gotten pretty good.  When it’s just her and we approach a house with a dog, she looks to me for treats.

When I’m walking Sampson by himself, I can usually get him past almost anything if I use my treats.

But when I’m walking both dogs, it’s a lot more challenging.  Not only do I have one dog who thinks every treat I pull out of the bag is for her, I have dogs that like to sniff in different directions.  It doesn’t matter which order I hold the leashes in my hand, five to ten times per walk, my hand looks like this.

Wow, that doesn't look comfortable. That's because it's NOT!

Wow, that doesn’t look comfortable. That’s because it’s NOT!

Yes, I know I could walk the dogs individually, and I intend on doing that when I have days off or weekends when I have extra time, but during the week, I just have to walk them together.

I always let the dogs choose which way we go, most of the time they head down the hill, but there are times when they turn right out of the driveway and head up the hill.  And there are times when they head up the hill when I can tell they are hell bent for the field.  Now since that last encounter with the off-leash dog I’ve been careful about visiting the field/woods.  For instance I won’t go up there on a weekend when the weather is nice. 

But Tuesday when they headed up the hill in the morning, I thought what the heck.  

The path in is only a wee bit scary at 6:15 in the morning.

The path in is only a wee bit scary at 6:15 in the morning.

Here’s what I discovered Tuesday morning, besides being reminded of how beautiful and peaceful the woods can be.

Sampson, my sweet, darling boy can be, well how shall I phrase this?  Sampson can be a bit of a dick when he gets in his favorite spot.

By this I mean, he has to stop and sniff every single thing when he’s on his leash.  I really think it was a calculation on his part.  I mean, I could barely get him into the field he was sniffing so much.  Finally I decided to try an experiment.  

I check the area carefully to make sure there was no-one else about and I unclipped his leash.  Guess what that little stinker did?

Yup. That's him, moving briskly along.

Yup. That’s him, moving briskly along.

He moved right along, like he was manipulating me to take him off leash.  

What do you think?  Do you think dogs know how to use manipulation?  How do your pets get you to do what they want?

Don’t forget the Dumb Ass Dog Owners blog hop is still open.  Mary and I would love it if you would share your story and link up to the hop.

Heart Like a Dog

Welcome to Thursday’s Barks and Bytes Blog hop hosted by 2 Brown Dogs and Heart Like a Dog. The Barks and Bytes hop is for anything at all and all bloggers are welcome. You don’t have to be a dog blog to join. For new blog hoppers, a blog hop is list of links that is shared on multiple blogs. In order to be fair to all participants we ask you to please use the linky list. If your blog does not support a linky list, please link back to your hosts.

Dumb-Assery – It’s an Industry Term

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Welcome to the Dumb Ass Dog Owner (DADO) blog hop, hosted by Tales from the Backroad and Heart Like a Dog.

It's true, the world is full of dumb ass dog owners.

So it’s true what they say?  The world is full of dumb ass dog owners?

Everyone has met one, or at least heard of one. Maybe you live next door to one.  It seems to me like they are everywhere.

I often wonder if I googled my address if there would be an arrow pointing to my neighborhood stating “Dumb Ass Dog Owner’s Neighborhood.  If you’re a dumb ass, move here.”

It’s true, I’ve had more than my fair share of encounters with dumb ass dog owners.  I say fair, because I can’t even count HOW many of these encounters I’ve had.

I had to think long and hard about which story I’d share.  I finally settled on the Bulldogs.  Yes, I’ve written about them before but it was quite some time ago, so it bears pulling out and sharing again.

We have three Bulldogs that live across the street.  They MIGHT be nice dogs if they had owners that 1) socialized them 2) let them off their deck 3) were home at reasonable hours.

These dogs go out on the deck first thing in the morning and stay out there all day long, sometimes late into the night.  In fact, before this couple had their child (yes, as if they didn’t leave their dogs enough, they now have a child that takes up more of their time) there were days/nights where they wouldn’t come home until 10 or 11 at night. And the dogs would be on the deck that entire time.

Take a look at the deck.

The little wading pool is filled with water.

The little wading pool is filled with water.

Notice the lumps on the deck? That's dog poop.

Notice the lumps on the deck? That’s dog poop.

Yes, the dogs shit on the deck and every so often the male owner goes out and shovels it off the deck into the grass. Shovels it off.  

Since these people have been living here, my dogs have had three altercations with them.  The first two encounters were with Sampson and it happened with Hubby.  One of those times one of the dogs actually bit Sampson.

The last encounter was with Delilah.  Delilah the dog who takes no shit.

We were finishing up our walk, one house away from home, Hubby and Sampson were ahead of us.  It was dark.  A car was coming down the street.  It happened so fast.  I heard a noise from my left and two of the Bulldogs came tearing across the road right in front of the car.

They were immediately on Delilah, growling, snapping and barking.  I didn’t know what to do.  One minute we were having a lovely walk, the next minute three dogs were circling me, trying to kill each other.  

Instinctively I dropped her leash.  There was no way I was going to let her feel trapped and unable to defend herself, especially with two on one.

The male owner was outside with them (thankfully) and he came running across the street, and flung himself on the ground.  He said something.  I can’t remember what it was, but it had something to do with his dogs going after Delilah and I responded with something along the lines of “She’ll give it right back to them, she won’t just take it.”

It seemed like minutes passed, but I think in reality it was probably less than a minute.  The owner was on the ground, I seem to recall he used his foot to remove one of the dogs off the road and into the grass and had his arms wrapped around the other dog.  I don’t whether he was bit or not and I could care less.  If his dog bit him, if my dog bit him, if all the dogs bit him.  He’s a dumb ass.  

Once he got the dogs away from Delilah I was able to get her to leave the fight.  I got her home and checked her over and could find no bite marks, no blood, etc. 

Hubby and Sampson meanwhile had seen the entire thing.  Hubby said I handled the situation right, but I still felt awful.  

It’s a terrible thing to have hours and hours of hard work ruined by some Dumb Ass Dog Owner who doesn’t put any effort into his dogs and has no regard for those that do.  

The kicker is.  Both of the owners of these dogs are teachers.  Education is nothing if you are ignorant. 

And how do you educate the ignorant?

Badge courtesy of Mary from Tales from the Backroad

Badge courtesy of Mary from Tales from the Backroad

This is the Dumb Ass Dog Owners blog hop, hosted by Tales from the Backroad and Heart Like a Dog.  We encourage you to link up with us and share your stories of dumb-assery.  Maybe together we can figure out a way to get the point across.

P.S. I’ve disabled the right click option for the purpose of this blog hop.  Feel free to copy the blog hop badge and use it in your posts.

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