Murphy’s law is an adage or epigram that is typically stated as: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Source
I observe a lot of things when I’m out walking my dogs. Truly if you read this blog at all, you know our walks are usually pretty entertaining.
Some general things I observe are what I like to refer to as, “The Murphy’s Law of Dog Walking.”
Sometimes ya just gotta laugh.
Your dog will more than likely go where no man has gone before – example: if they can squish themselves under a bush or between two rocks, yup, that’s the place to do their ‘doody.’ (Yeah thanks, and I thought squeezing into some dressing rooms was hard.)
The softest, loosest poop will be in the yard with the longest grass, making it next to impossible to remove from your neighbor’s lawn without removing a good bit of their grass. (You’re welcome for trimming that bit of yard you lazy ass.)
You don’t look at your dog before bending down to scoop and wind up with a mouth or face full of dirt and leaves, when they decide to ‘cover’ it up. If it’s your lucky day, there’s no poop, rocks or sticks in it.
The day you don’t see that squirrel? Your dog will, requiring a trip to the emergency room to have your dislocated shoulder painfully snapped back in place. (Where did ALL the damn squirrels come from anyway?) A few years back we had practically no squirrels at all, now our neighborhood looks like there’s a fire sale at the peanut factory. You better run, Squirrel.
That light and gentle rain that began when you first started your walk, will turn into a deluge when and only when, you’re at the half-way mark of your walk. Shoulda grabbed a hat.
Trying to swat bugs with a bag of dog shit in your hand will result with you knocking yourself in the head or face with said bag. (Thank dog for lavender scented bags.)
You will walk past house after house and your dog will decide to poop at the only house where the owner is outside. Or they will stop to squat, right as the person opens their door to step outside. “Hi, how you doing? I’ll just pick this up and be on my way.”
That one morning you decide to walk on the side of the street with the e-fence dog, that is the day that the door opens and the dog comes charging out at you. Well that picked up my heart rate, probably burned 100 calories right there.
I’m sure there’s more and I’ll jot them down as I think of them. What about you, do you have any Murphy’s Laws of Dog Walking to add?
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