Heart Like a Dog

The Good, the Bad, and the Oh My God of living with dogs!

WHAT THE ?

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Graphic Designed by Julie Melfi, Creative Leg Up.

Graphic Designed by Julie Melfi, Creative Leg Up.

It’s been a while since I came up with a WTF Wednesday post.  Mostly because it got too depressing seeing all the stupid things that people were doing to animals, but this one was just too hard to pass up.  (Note this photo came across my Facebook page, the photo was found on techcrunch)

Say it with me. WHAT THE FUCK?

Say it with me. WHAT THE FUCK?

Now listen, I don’t like picking up dog crap any better than the rest of you, but when the day comes where I think harnessing my dog up and strapping a bag on its ass is easier than bending down to pick up poop, take my dog away from me and add me to the do not adopt list.

If this doesn’t scream, “YOU SHOULDN’T OWN A DOG” I don’t know what does.  Really, you still have to deal with shit, why not just save yourself a five minute dog wrestle and bend over and pick up the shit?  Besides any dog I know is not going to stand still while I strap a bag on its ass.

NOT HAPPENING.

I’ve been told that dogs don’t experience embarrassment the way people do, but I have a feeling that if I strapped a bag to my dog’s ass, I’d be the one embarrassed, not to mention the potential lawsuits.

Driver: There I was officer, driving down the street when I saw this dog with a bag strapped to its ass.  Of its own accord my head whipped around and I never even saw that parked car, I’m just grateful the pedestrian jumped out of the way of my careening car.

Officer: What do you mean, it had a bag on its ass?  Was it wrapped around its legs?  Did it swallow it and was trying to push it out?

Driver: No officer!  The bag was to CATCH the poop.

Officer: Ma’am, have you been drinking?  I know it’s only 9:00 AM but where are coming from, was there liquor there?

Driver: Officer, I swear, the dog had a bag strapped to its ass.  Like harnessed and intentionally, Strapped. To. Its. Ass.  Oh, oh, there it is, look over there!

Officer: Summabitch, I hope the cruiser cam is catching this, it will help your case stand up in court.  Where the Fu… is my ticket book?  That’s cruelty to animals right there.”  Hits button on his mike, “Dispatch?  Send animal control over to ……they’re gonna have to see this shit to believe it.”

Don't get any ideas Mama, I will bite you.

Don’t get any ideas Mama, I will bite you.

That to me is the epitome of laziness.  I cannot believe that someone actually invented this and I have to tell you, if I EVER see a dog with this strapped to its ass, the likelihood of me going West Virginia Back-woods Hood-rat on that owner, are probably pretty damn good.  

Whoo Hoo

Because my little badge at the top of the page says WTF/Whoo Hoo, I am going to share some exciting news in the dog world.   Minnesota has become the first state in the U.S., and first political body in the world, to mandate that laboratory dogs and cats be adopted when the research is over!  The Beagle Freedom Project was instrumental in making this happen!!  Personally I’d like to see them end animal testing all together, but hey it’s a start!

Chloe is Not Coming

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What’s the first thing you learned in basic obedience class?  Not the first thing you taught your dog (which was probably sit) but the first thing you learned?

If I remember correctly, it’s not to repeat your command.  I ask my dog to sit, if (s)he does not sit, I use a treat and lure the dog into a sit.  When I am walking Delilah and call her to me, I reward her when she comes, if she does not come I say, “Too bad” and I put the treat away.  I wait a few seconds and I try again, usually the next time she’s very quick to respond.

For a long time Delilah and I went to a drop in obedience class and there was this couple that had a pair of labs and they about drove me to drink.   Okay truth here.  It doesn’t take much to drive me to drink, but that’s entirely NOT the point.   The point is these people would say, “Sit, sit, sit, sit” and then “Stay, stay, stay, stay” until it took all my energy not to swing my leash and whap them upside their head with the clip.

When I’m out cruising the neighborhood with the dogs, I naturally notice the houses with dogs.  There’s one house we pass that has a German Shepherd dog and the dog barks incessantly.  She hears us from about two to three houses away and she barks until we are at least two three houses beyond her.

Do you want to come and play with me?

Do you want to come and play with me?

Now don’t get me wrong, my dogs bark when other dogs walk past, but not to that degree.  AND if my dogs are barking like lunatics, I go and check the situation out and typically call them away from it.  Unless of course it’s something that requires my attention.

So this dog is barking her fool head off as we walk past and the owner comes outside and I hear, “Chloe come, Chloe come, Chloe come, Chloe come, Chloe come, Chloe come.”

I wanted to scream, “Chloe is not coming. Walk over to your dog and get her.”

In the truth is stranger than fiction category, yesterday when we were walking past that house the woman stopped me to compliment me on how beautiful the dogs are.  As we stood chatting for a few minutes she informed me that Chloe always alerts her when dogs are walking by and that she can’t walk Chloe because Chloe loses her mind when she sees another dog.  Of course, “she only wants to play.”  But I wonder if she actually had the opportunity, if she would even know how.

How do you explain proper socialization to people?  Or the importance of exposing your dog to many situations to help them become a well-rounded dog?

How do you handle situations like this?

You Make Me Smile – May 18, 2014

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You make me smile…the sweet, funny, silly things my dogs do on a daily basis, that brings a smile to my face or a laugh to my lips.

Can you guess what’s making me smile today?  I’ll give you a hint.

Why are you taking my picture here?

Why are you taking my picture here?

Yesterday at Sampson’s physical therapy appointment, she said it would be okay to walk Sampson in the park, as long as we stayed on the gravel path.  SO yes, Sampson is in one of his favorite places, his park.

Seeing him so happy in a place he really loves, makes me smile.

Mama, there are so many things to sniff, please let me up.

Mama, there are so many things to sniff, please let me up.

I was a little nervous, mostly that we might run into an off-leash dog and he could get hurt, so I will take him to the park cautiously, but it’s nice to have the option again.

Has your pet ever met a milestone that made you smile?

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