Today we’re participating in the Four Gifts for Pets Blog Hop, hosted by Kol’s Notes.

I guess the basis for this hop is something Ellen DeGeneres does, unless I’m totally not understanding Jodi correctly, (which is of course a distinct possibility.) The way I understand it, parents are to buy four gifts for their children at Christmas, something they want, something they need, something to wear and something to read. It’s an admirable endeavor because speaking only from my point of view, MOST kids I know these days get entirely too much. I mean really…does an 8-year old need a smart phone?

Sorry, I digress.

 

I thought it’d be fun to approach this blog hop from my perspective and then I’ll tackle each of the dogs as well.

So something I WANT is to be able to walk my dogs without worrying about dumb ass dog owners. (Hey, it doesn’t HAVE to be a material thing, does it?)

Something I NEED is a private session with a good/positive dog trainer. (Yes, I’m actually working on this one. You can give these things to yourself, yes?)

Something to WEAR would be a dog walker’s vest.  You know, the one with every feature a dog walker could POSSIBLY want! (Believe it or not, I’ve designed one myself, I just haven’t put the work into it to get it into production.)

Something to READ would be a my own book in print. (HELL YES, sign me up for that shit.)

Now for the dogs.  Jodi gave us the choice or want/wear/need/read or want/wear/need/eat. So for the dogs I choose eat, because their dogs. Duh and they like to eat.

Of course, it’s ENTIRELY my point of view and if they could actually talk, they might say something different, but they can’t so HAH.

Sampson says,

I WANT walks, lots and lots of walks. I want walks around people, people who will pay attention to me and love on me. Walks in the woods, without a leash, walks on trails, walks in parks. I want walks.

I NEED belly rubs. Lots and lots of belly rubs. And ear rubs too. And pets on the head, basically I just want you to sit and pet me all day long.

I don’t need anything to WEAR. I’m a dog damn it, dogs aren’t supposed to wear clothes. Dogs aren’t supposed to WEAR anything. God wanted us to WEAR fur and that’s what we WEAR, we don’t need anything else.

For EATs I want steak. Lots of steak, big, fat, juicy steaks cooked medium rare. I’d say give it to me raw and wriggling but that would squeam my mom out.

I don’t think that’s too much for a dog to ask for, is it?

Delilah’s thoughts:

I WANT food. This rationed shit Mama has us on is for the birds. You should see the tiny bits of food she gives us, I thought I was in the land of milk and honey, but NO. I landed in the Stone soup pot.

I NEED food. Shit, a dog has to have food to survive, how else am I going to keep doing things to write about if I’m wasting away to nothing. She expects me to perform like a trained monkey, but what do I get? Rations. Food that could barely sustain a Malti-poo, never mind a curvy dog like myself. I NEED food.

I agree with Sampson that dogs shouldn’t WEAR anything, but I’ll make an exception and WEAR a sausage link necklace, I think wearable food is something every dog should have. Besides which, when she hands me out those skimpy rations, I can always eat my necklace.  Can I change the above answer to I NEED unlimited wearable food?

I’ll EAT anything. Anything you give me (and even stuff you won’t give me) I’ll eat. You know what they say, if it looks like food and smells like food, it’s probably food.

READ, I know, I know, I’ve already gone above and beyond with my answers, but I know the Mama would like you to think I’m just a simple dog with simple tastes but that’s not entirely true. I can be a refined when I have to and I’m not above rising to the challenge, so I’ll take READ for $400 Alex. And the answer for the book I’d like to READ is “Eat, Pray, Love.”

I said it was a book, I didn’t say it wouldn’t be food related. I’m a lab after-all.

Have you done the four gifts? How would you/your dog answer?

Please join us tomorrow for Barks and Bytes Blog Hop hosted by 2 Brown Dawgs and yours truly. Hopefully the linky tool will be working this week.

Thank you so much to Kol’s Notes for this fun hop.

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