Honestly, most of my best blog ideas come when I’m walking the dogs. It’s either because my brain is free of all encumbrances, or the dogs do something that creates an idea for a post.
In this case, it was the dogs, specifically Delilah, that this post is about.
It’s on the internet so it MUST be true.
If I’m being truthful, I have to tell you I’ve come to enjoy our morning walks more than the afternoon walks. Typically it is just me and the dogs, although occasionally we do run into others, (more about one encounter on Thursday) but in general our morning walks are fairly uneventful, unless it’s something my dogs are doing, in this case it was Delilah.
Our weekday walks are timed, which means I set a timer on my phone for 12 minutes and when the timer goes off, depending upon which route we are on, we turn around and head home.
There is one house we walk past with a small dog that loves to bark. This dog starts barking from about two houses away. In the afternoons the dog is often outside on the deck out back, while in the mornings the dog is in one of the front windows, barking its fool head off.
So last Friday we head out on our walk. Just before we reach the house with the barking dog, Delilah stops to poop. As I wait for her to finish her business I look up to the house ahead and see the dog, face smashed against the screen, barking to beat the band.
The couple who live with this dog are older, I figure they either don’t sleep in the same room as the dog, have their hearing aids turned off or have mastered the art of REM sleep, (maybe all of the above) because at no time during this barking process does anyone try and shush the dog or peer out the window to see what the hell this dog is barking at.
I pick up Delilah’s gift to the world and we walk about 20 feet closer. Now we are in front of the house with the barking dog and Delilah apparently has not finished creating God’s work. She squats again, directly in the dog’s line of vision.
She drops a few more Lincoln logs and then (as can only happen with dogs that eat grass), she walks very slowly in a squatting position trying to dislodge something, either real or imaginary from her bum. I cannot see what is bothering her because I’m busy picking up her poop sculpture.
It was at this most inopportune moment that the timer went off. I’m bent over picking up poop, the barking dog is mashing its face against the window screen, Delilah’s doing walking squats and Deliverance is playing on my phone.
I shut the timer off as quickly as I can, and reach into my pouch for a clean bag so I can investigate Delilah’s bum and help a puppy out.
As I’m working on this, Delilah decides enough is enough, she goes for the old tried and true method of dragging her ass, except she’s no longer in the grass, she’s scraping across the driveway.
Whatever is bothering her isn’t coming off, so she sits down, int he road and tends to the issue herself.
That’s just how we roll in the ‘hood.
Thankfully none of this is caught on tape.
You sound like me! I really love my late night walks because no one is outside and my dogs are better on the leash, too!
If you notice any more scooting, you might want to have her anal glands checked. Usually big dogs don’t need that but sometimes they do and I would recommend having a vet tech do it internally because it’s better for the glands.
Sometimes a dog’s gotta do what a dog’s gotta do. Well done, taking care of business, D.
Love and licks,
Cupcake
You are very disciplined with the timer. Mom just takes the walk she wants to take and it often takes longer which means she is running late almost every morning! That grass stuck in the butt thing is nasty. Mom has taught us to let her help out, so we wait for her, but then we find the feeling weird when she pulls something out back there and go racing around in circles.
Well, at least it doesn’t sound like Delilah left a big skid mark across the driveway. Those are really hard to remove with a poop bag 😉
Ouch! Scraping her bum across the driveway?? That had to have hurt! Poor D-Dog! Hope she finally got rid of it, whatever “it” was!!
It’s never boring in your world, is it? LOL
Oh my gosh, I snorted coffee on the keyboard with your description. leave it to D-girl to be at the epicentre of fun with dogs. Thanks for the morning smiles.
I can’t believe Delilah allows you to get away with picking up the poop before helping her. Blueberry has me trained well. I have to make sure everything is out of the chute before even thinking about picking up her sculpture – otherwise, she will spin in tight circles very rapidly, thus building up momentum for the offending groop (grass and poop blend) to reach maximum speed, so as she dislodges it with her teeth, it flies through the air, inevitably hitting me on the pant leg or shoe.
Poor Delilah – hopefully she doesn’t get road rash from scraping her bum on the asphalt. I’m so glad that we humans don’t have to do things like that. I can’t imagine trying to explain that type of abrasion to my doctor.
P.S. I’ve kinda missed talking about poop like this. Thanks for satisfying my “fix”. 😉
OMG I AM DYING!!
Are you sure that the dog that was “barking its fool head off with its face smashed into the window” wasn’t MY DOG!!?? (hanging head in shame)
When you live with a Sheltie, it isn’t a matter of being “old” (but we are lol), or “having our hearing aids turned off” (which thankfully, we don’t have, YET)…it’s just that Shelties bark at leaves, pebbles, imaginary creatures, (you get the idea). If I went to the window ALL of the time, I’d never get anything done! Well, he isn’t THAT bad…but……….he sees the same dogs here every day and goes ballistic each and every time one takes a poop within his range. 🙂
I’m assuming she didn’t use toilet paper. Did you know those are called dingleberries?
Video of that is the only thing that could be more fun than reading it!! I can picture the camera panning between the smushed-face dog barking away, Delilah, and you, all set to – the music of Deliverance?
I think Delilah is messing with you and that dog…there was nothing stuck back there….she just knew you needed some blog material! LOL
My biped said “ouch” about scraping across the driveway! Delilah wanted rid of that!
What do you mean by “Thankfully none of this is caught on tape”? I’d love to see that video!
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Poor doggie. I get up very early 5 30 am, weekdays and weekends, but lately the dogs want to get up at 430 or 5. I really dont think this is just bath rooming they want to play and run about. Ive been trying to ignore them a bit, for just 2 to 3 min, we sleep in the same bed because i want to train them to sleep in a bit later, but if they are insistent we go out. I dont think 530 is unreasonable, but dogs do they want up at 430
retro rover
I would laugh my ass off If I saw that scene, especially as Deliverance starts to play. I’m wondering now if Laika’s poop problems are due to grass, I swear she gets more dingleberries than any dog I’ve even known. And of course when she gets them she acts like it’s such a shock and the scariest thing ever, so she scoots around like a mad woman.
LOL Sorry, but I wish there was video!
Lol, what a morning walk! I’m just glad there were no sounds of squealing pigs when your timer went off! 😉
poor girl yes luckily no one was watching but it would of went viral and you would of had your 15 minutes of fame
Oh gosh, poor girl! What a morning walk! 😮
Sounds like an eventful walk.