I talk to my dogs all the time. In fact, I talk to them like they can understand me.
But sometimes, sometimes I just can’t believe the things that come out of my mouth.
Like Friday when Delilah farted and I said to her, stand up when you do that, I want to get that on video.
I’m not bad, I’m just photographed that way.
Let me back track a bit.
Friday when I came home from work, I discovered Delilah had eaten some bubble gum. I typically don’t have bubblegum in the house, but I’d bought some for my grandchildren for their Easter baskets and left three pieces on the top of my desk.
The top of my desk, which is a good 4 feet high. It had been sitting there for the entire week, but for some reason on Friday, Delilah decided to climb on the top of my desk and eat the gum.
Wrappers and all.
Of course I panicked. I know certain sugarless gums contain ingredients that can be deadly to dogs.
While I was dialing the vet’s office, I was looking up the ingredient list online. As best I could tell there was nothing that could harm her, but better safe than sorry.
Most of the time when I call the vet’s office a person answers the phone, but there are occasions when the staff is busy and an answering machine picks up. The spiel is if you can leave a message please do so, if you feel you have an emergency press zero.
I pressed zero.
Me, after identifying myself: Yes, Delilah ate bubble gum.
Vet tech: How much gum did she eat?
Me: I think it was about three pieces. With the wrappers.
Vet tech: What kind of gum was it? Did it have Xylitol in it?
Me: It was sugarless Bubble Yum, original flavor. I don’t think it had Xylitol, but she ate the wrapper too, I’m on the website and I don’t think it does.
Vet tech: Hold on a minute, let me ask the vet.
Vet tech: How is she acting?
Me: She seems fine.
Vet tech: Okay, let me talk to the vet and check the information we have.
Half a minute passes.
Vet tech: Okay, I checked the information we have and that gum had no Xylitol in it, Dr. B says Delilah should be fine, but just keep an eye on her.
Me: Is she going to fart and blow a bubble out her butt?
Vet tech laughing: Oh my god, that would be awesome. No, no she shouldn’t, but if by chance she does, make sure you get a picture of it, I’m pretty sure it would make you some money.
Me: I bet it wins America’s Funniest Videos.
Flash forward a half an hour. I’m in the kitchen prepping dinner. Delilah saunters in and sits down. As is her custom when she sits in the kitchen, she farts.
Which is when I say, stand up when you do that, I want to catch that on video.
And for the record, she did not fart and blow a bubble out her ass. Truthfully, I’m kind of disappointed, I imagine I could have got a lot of mileage out of that one.
OH! MY! GOD!!! I am laughing so hard that my side aches!! I woke Shadow (she was asleep on the bed) and she gave me that look. Maybe you should have photo-shopped a picture of Diva Dog with a bubblegum bubble sticking out of her butt. It would have gotten some wild comments if nothing else.
OMG, I am now cleaning my laptop screen after spitting all of it–thank you very much. This is one of the funniest blog posts I have read. Mine question is….was the bubble gum flavored and if so, did her farts smell like the bubble gum!! LOL
Jodi you crack us up. Have a marvellous Monday.
Best wishes Molly
That would have made a lovely photo! Just be careful when you pick up her poop as it will probably try to stick to the bottom of your shoes. Gum has those magnetic tendencies!
You would get soooo much mileage out of that. LOL
If the vet’s office has Caller ID, I bet they all want to take your calls.
I love how they always say “Keep an eye on her” after our hysterical calls. Like we couldn’t figure that out.
You’re so funny :-> My dog Zack eats gum on the sidewalk all the time, before I can pull him away. I wonder sometimes if it’s clogging his stomach or coming out in poop. I haven’t seen it in poop yet, but I don’t dissect it either :->
Maybe she should have eaten some Navy Beans and Broccoli along with the gum… THAT would have made some Dandy PHARRRRRTS fur SURE.
HAHAHAHA…..you could have been rich!! You and Deliliah never cease to amaze and delight us with the things you come up!
BTW, heard it was your birthday, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Hope you’re having a fun day!
It would have made a good picture for sure. 🙂
LOLOLOL! Thank you! You made me laugh on a day when I REALLY needed it! <3
damn, I want to see a fart gum bubble!
Always an adventure with you and the D-dog, isn’t it? That made me laugh so loud, I woke Sam up.
And for the record, happy belated birthday wishes. ♪♥♥[̲̅̅H̲̅][̲̅̅A̲̅][̲̅̅P̲̅][̲̅̅P̲̅][̲̅̅Y̲̅] [̲̅̅B̲̅][̲̅̅I̲̅][̲̅̅R̲̅][̲̅̅T̲̅][̲̅̅H̲̅][̲̅̅D̲̅][̲̅̅A̲̅][̲̅̅Y̲̅]♥♥♫♪