Sunday was beautiful, even though we got another 8 inches of snow the sun seems to understand its job. The sun is warm and the temperatures rose into the 40’s. The 40’s! It was heavenly. I actually walked the dogs with just a light jacket.
Then over night it got cold again and record cold is expected through 10:00 am this morning. Of course I bundle up when we walk, but the wind is biting. I found myself saying, “It’s colder than a witch’s tit out here.”
Then I thought, what exactly does that mean?
Some dogs get normal people for moms. Apparently I’m not one of them.
Are we talking actual body temperature? Because if that’s the case, and a witch’s body temperature runs along the lines of the rest of us, that would mean that anything colder than say like 98 degrees is colder than a witch’s tit.
Or does it mean a witch is so butt ugly that nothing would attach to her boob?
I thought, wouldn’t it be fun to check out some other nonsensical sayings?
Here’s a few I found by googling. You’ll find my interpretation in parenthesis.
- It’s so cold that Bill Clinton is sleeping with his own wife in order to keep warm. (This one is self-explanatory.)
- It’s so cold, my balls have became ovaries. (Obviously referring to a man. Interpretation – his balls shrunk so freaking much they tucked themselves into his body. No eggs though.)
- It’s so cold when you opened the door to the house the small light in front went on! (I’m guessing this references the cold has seeped into the house making if feel like a refrigerator.)
- The fire hydrant is begging a dog to pee on it. (Let’s face it, everyone likes a warm shower, especially in the cold.)
- I’ve got to crank a steamer. (We all know this refers to the warmth of poop when it exits the body. The steam part is definitely emphasized in cold weather.)
- It is so cold I could cut glass with my nipples. (Yup, when it’s cold the nipples get hard. Those little puppies are so stiff, they’re hard as diamonds and yes, diamonds cut glass.)
How about you? Do you have any cold weather sayings? Do you want my interperation or do you have your own? Would you like to share?
Those are so funny! I’ve only heard a couple of them! 😀
BOL funny. Have a terrific Tuesday.
Best wises Molly
hahaha I love your interpretations! I don’t know any fun sayings 🙁
The only one from that bunch I have heard, is the last one. Or, it’s colder than a witches tit in a brass bra. Which actually makes more sense. LOL
“It’s Colder than a witch’s tit” was one of my Dad’s favorite (crazy) sayings! When I saw it as the title of your post, I actually laughed out loud — and woke Ducky!! I don’t know where it came from — never really thought about it — just always assumed it was something handed down through the generations of my family (and countless others).
How about THIS one….. it is Colder than a Squirrel’s Heart.
Amazingly, we haven’t heard of most of those even though we live in the freezer section of the country. We hear freezing my ass off all the time, but that’s about it.
A week ago it was 70, the next day 20 and with 4 days of snow beginning Friday, it’s been gawd-awful cold (this morning 10 on the constitutional walk). While I have no clever sayings to share, I find the ones you shared quite fascinating. Words…such great entertainers of life! Stay warm. 🙂
BOL momma always says it’s that cold. We are freezing too, it’s 55F
Snorts,
Lily & Edward
You’re really suffering through some crazy weather extremes! I’ve never heard those sayings, except the first one (and like Mary Hone, I’ve heard it with “in a brass bra”)…sayings are fun though, and these are a blast!
Keep warm regardless!
Having just come inside from playing with the dogs and walking Sheba, I think I understand the sentiment behind all of these sayings, even though I have never heard most of them! We woke up to 25 below this morning…but it rose all the way to 14 above, and I made the dogs wait until then to go outside!
Still giggling,
We are actually having spring weather, 60s and 70s so I’m afraid I can’t get inspired. On the down side we still need lots of rain (or snow in the mountains) to recover from a drought. I’m glad you had a few moments to enjoy outside. We are sending warmth thoughts to you.
It’s good to giggle. It’s 😯 killer hot here , 86 degrees outside and I’m out of beano! Think about it , burn up outside or stay where it’s cool and smother! OK I got it, get out the icebag . Now, sneak up to Dad , (sleeping on the couch while permitting funk) pull open his waist band and put in a big old scoop of ice . Now! That’s colder than a witches tit in the Yukon !!!! And really nipply too! I wonder if Mom is still up for the 50 bucks for getting Dad off the couch? 😈
We have “It aint ‘alf nipply out there” or “it’s brass monkeys” (full version, It’s so cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.) Then we’ve got “Blimey it’s taters out there” (comes from Potatoes (taters) in the Mould (cold), mould being the topsoil, and referring to potatoes being in topsoil are colder than when they’re buried further down) which could be followed by “Let’s have a cup of rosie to warm our cockles” (have a cup of tea to warm up!) hehe 😀
Those are crazy. When I used to tutor English we worked a lot on idioms. I can honestly say that none of those were in the group…lol.
I hadn’t heard most of those ones. Thanks for a good laugh!