About six weeks ago, Maggie from Oh My Dog posted a link on Facebook to her blog post. The post was about poop.
In the comments I said, “Poop makes the best posts.”
And she responded, “They do make the best posts!” (Or something close to that.)
I don’t know about you, but I get the best comments when I post about poop. Seriously, the comments are the absolute best.
Another poop post? When will you grow up?
I have a theory about why that is.
Wanna hear it? Of course you do, you wouldn’t still be reading if you didn’t.
The reason poop posts make the best posts is simple.
Everybody poops. Everybody’s dog poops. It’s something we all have in common and therefore we can all relate to it.
I can tell you a story about Delilah and how she climbed up to get a hamburger bun out of the sink, and you will laugh, because it is funny.
EXCEPT… if you’ve never had a counter surfer (or a dog large enough to reach the sink) you will find it amusing, but not relatable.
BUT every one of you has a poop story. Whether it’s your own, or your dogs, you have a story. Every. Single. One. Of. You.
I can tell you, that right now we have a lot of snow and more came yesterday. It is piled up close to four feet high on the sides of the road. This means there is no where for the dogs to poop on our walks, so they have to poop in the street.
Holy woof, do you think we’ll have to wait til’ spring to find a place to poop?
Now many of you don’t have snow, don’t walk in snow and there may even be some of you who have never seen snow. BUT you can still relate because odds are, if you have a dog, that dog has in fact pooped somewhere it shouldn’t have.
So when I share with you about the time I didn’t judge the ‘grab’ and I ended up with a wee bit of poo on the tip of my finger, you can understand that even though I wiped it on grass, I knew that shit touched my finger and I fixated on it the entire walk, until I finally got home and could wash my hands.
Or the time the only bag I had split and I was able to mickey rig it together, but searched every paper box we passed for a plastic bag I could commandeer, to ensure my ‘treasure’ didn’t get lost on the way home.
Um, there also might have been a time I was walking the dogs and went to pick up a poop and dropped it on my foot. My foot that was in open toed sandals. I dropped the poop on my toe, and immediately flicked my foot like the turd was a hacky sack. I opened my mouth and squealed.
Good thing I’m not good with the hacky sack, that could have been a whole different poop story.
I bet you have your own awesome poop stories. I’d love for you to share them in the comments.
Thank you. You have NO idea how much I enjoyed this post, how much I related to it and how much I needed the laugh. You are hysterical and possibly my new fave person.
Last week when I was walking BD he pooed near another dogs poo, and that person had not scooped so in a moment of bravery I scooped that poop too. I don’t know about you but I am fine scooping my dogs poo but someone elses just freaks me out! But I did it…I expect my medal to arrive in the post any day now!
Snorts laughing. Have a terrific Tuesday.
Best wishes Molly
Every winter we have to relearn to poop on the street too. Our biggest problem is bags breaking in the cold. Mom says she figured it out. We poop, it freezes and sometimes when it freezes it has sharp points that easily puncture the frozen bags. Somehow, there is still soft poo to leak an smear a bit. This normally only happens when it is in the single digits or colder, and it happens to us as we are normally out for an hour so it all has time to freeze. On the up side, Mom is bundled from head to toe in her winter gear, so it never touches her actual skin and her gear can be washed, but it pisses her off.
Stop me if you’ve already heard this one…
I took Blueberry to the lake the first year I had her and as fastidious as she always is about pooping off the trail, for some reason, she thought it would be fun to try pooping IN THE LAKE. I was mortified. There was a man fishing downstream from us and even though I grabbed at the bobbing poop as quickly as I could – the current was too strong and I missed a nugget. I imagined it floating down the lake and repeatedly bumping into the fisher’s wading boot. I thought about walking down to the man and apologizing in advance for the turd that was about to collide with his boot, but decided I’d just sound crazy. My face red, we left the area immediately.
You are correct, poop stories really are the best. I think that all dog bloggers should compile all of our stories into one book. It would be a NY Times Best Seller! We could all split the profits! Now, to think up a name for that book…
You can’t make this shit up. LOL
Relatable indeed. Plus there’s the whole ‘what goes in, must come out’ angle that happens daily. If nothing else, the poop angle is a treasure trove of abundance, literally and figuratively! 🙂 Why just this morning on our morning constitution, it took me 6 trys to finally get those little tootsie rolls into the bag! WTH? 6 trys, with Sam giving me the ‘sheesh, can’t you do anything right on the first try look, woman?’
POOOOOOOOOOOOP We love POOOOOP…. we love POOP and POOP SHOOTERS and PEEEEEE and PEE SHOOTERS SOoooooooooooooooooooooo much that WE are hosting the POTTY BREAK Station fur the MayorZ Marathon… We need pictures of EVERYBUDDY going Potty fur that… so please email POTTY PICTURES TO US..
OMD our MOM Adores our poops… she has a special Solid Silver Turd Flipper and a Special Scooper thingy with a long handle to Flip them into… and she has the POOP SCULPTURE Pile… OH YES We sing the PRAISES of POOPS here on the HILL… Mom DePoops our yard DAILY… She says it is a LABOR of LOVE… ♫ POOOOOP ….. GLORIOUS POOOOOOOOOP… ♫ we are sure that is a famous song…
Sing Praises of the Poop and Pee Shooters… and don’t furget the occasional Pharrrt… Those keep the Poop Shooters ♫ TUNED UP ♫.
Poop posts are quite entertaining
Lily & Edward
Hmmm I wonder if anyone will share their own rather than their dog’s poop stories. You did ask. 🙂 I make my pups poop pre-walk and usually we are good for the length of the walk.
Part of it is that most adults haven’t grown up as much as we think. We still snicker at poop, farts, and deflated balls.
Hahah! Yep. The sure do, don’t they? I think part of the reason poop stories are SO funny is because we can all empathize with them. Sure, everyone can sympathize with Delilah’s counter surfing, but not every can empathize with that. Here’s another one: On Emmett’s road trip, I thought – foolishly – that he would love a fast food chicken sandwich. Well, HE loved it. His stomach did not. So, I pulled into a rest area and we dashed to the “dog walk” and as he frantically sniffed and twirled, trying to find just the right place to unload that sandwich, a tour bus stuffed with elderly travelers pulled up. The passengers climbed down as Em was going. They looked horrified – though a few giggled – but the worst part was that it was totally un-pick-up-able, so I had to feign picking it up with a bunch of poop bags while he stood there wagging at the traveling senior citizens.
Hahahahaha oh my goodness – poop posts really are the best! This post (and all the comments!) made me laugh out loud for a good few minutes! I, unfortunately, have a decent amount of my own poop stories I could share (I have a heart condition that sometimes causes me to lose consciousness…at inopportune moments, we’ll just say that!), but I’ll just share a dog one so I can keep my dignity 😀
I have worked in both a shelter and a doggie hotel, so I have kind of experienced all sorts of poopers: poop flingers, poop smearers, poop eaters, dingleberry poopers, and the list goes on. One of the most recent was a small Shih-Tzu who, when brought inside from the potty area, was still struggling to get a turd out. Turns out the poop was all intermingled (not a word, but it works) with pieces of fabric and string from a toy/blanket she had eaten. I had to snap on a rubber glove and literally pull it out of her butt…It was like one of those magic tricks where the magician keeps pulling the scarf out of his sleeve – it just kept coming and coming. It was actually pretty impressive (and pretty damn gross)!
Thanks for the laugh! 😀
I know you’ll be jealous, because my dogs don’t usually poop on walks! Our beagle Kobi did, but he was the only one (Sheba does occasionally but not often). So all our poop these days is contained to the yard and if there are any incidents I am right by the house so I can wash my hands immediately!
I don’t think I could top Blueberry’s Human’s story anyway….I bet you’ll be sharing that one in your F/U Friday post!!
Blueberry’s Mom had a great post too about poop, several weeks back. Can’t beat a good poop post!
Monty and Harlow
Oh, How funny! I’ve just commented on another poop post! And said we should all pull together the poop stories for a book 😉
Jodi – Just to liven up my hubby’s morning sometimes I will feed my girls frozen corn and peas because they don’t digest. 😀 Soooo by the next morning when he takes the girls for a walk he
gets a surprise … technicolor poo bol bol bol and yes I do hear about it but he does have a smile
on his face when he asks me what the heck I fed the girls last night. 😀
Ah, but Jodi. I already shared my best poop story in “Getting Revenge on the Duchess”. I’ve always been proud of the way my mom left the neighbors’ dog’s poop in just the right place on their front porch so the shit-head son would step in it and leave smudges of it all over the wall-to-wall carpeting as he stomped through the house. 🙂
Love poop and poop stories. I took the dogs for a romp in the marsh Monday gambler hiked his ass up high on a weed to poop and I took pictures and thought of you.