Most nights Sampson and Delilah sleep through the night, but there are those rare occasions when someone refused to potty before bed, or someone isn’t feeling well, or just gets a wild hair across their ass and wants to go outside.
Usually it’s Sampson.
He knows who will get up with him too. Does he go over to the Daddy’s side of the bed?
Oh No.
Not the Daddy. It’s always the Mama.
He starts by getting down off the bed and then putting a heavy paw (THUNK) on the mattress in front of me. Usually that’s enough to wake me, if it’s not he changes tactics and puts his head on the bed and I wake up to him staring at me.
YO! Get yo’ ass up, I gotta go!!
Most nights when someone wants out, I get up open the door and stand huddled near the fireplace waiting for the wanderer to come back to the fold.
But not when it’s Sampson and he’s on restricted activity due to a partial ACL tear and isn’t allowed to be running or jumping.
No. The dedicated Mama gets up puts on coat and boots, grabs a flashlight and heads out into the cold.
Which is how I found myself wandering the hill in my backyard at 4:30 one morning a couple of weeks ago.
It’s amazing the things you think of when jolted from a sound sleep in a warm bed to a cold and snowy hilltop.
- I guess I don’t know my yard as well as I thought I did. (This as a bunch of small saplings slap me in the face because my head is down so I don’t step in dog shit.) Note to self, start picking up after your dogs!
- Why don’t we have a turnout pen like Mr. and Mrs. Taleteller? Then I wouldn’t be stumbling around this yard at 4:30 in the morning. What exactly IS a turnout pen? How big is it? I wonder if we could make one? Note to self, figure out a way to make the dogs potty in one area of the yard.
- Why didn’t I think to grab a poop bag (as we finally get to the reason WHY we’re outside at 4:30 in the morning.) I’m never going to find this in the daylight. Delilah will find it first. Note to self, might be wise to keep a roll of poop bags in your coat pocket.
- What would happen if I slipped and fell out here? Who would know? Would Hubby look outside if he got up and I wasn’t in the house? Or would I simply lie here and freeze to death? Like a frozen fucking Heat Miser. Note to self, remember to grab your cell phone when you take the dog out in the middle of the night.
Frozen fucking Heat Miser image courtesy of basketball25 at Deviant Art.
- Crap! Who planted that tree? Note to self, it might be wise to clear some of these little trees out.
- What would Sampson do if I fell out here? Would he sit at the door and waiting for Hubby to get up, or would he bark and raise a ruckus? Would I still be alive when Hubby finds me? Note to self, it might be wise to tack a note somewhere that says, “check snow banks first.”
- Are those eyes over there in those bushes? Note to self, maybe your pepper blaster would be handy to bring with you.
Note to self, maybe it’s a good idea to make SURE the dogs potty before calling it a night.
And have you implemented any of these ‘notes to self’? 😉
Yikes luckily we are all bed heads here and no getting up in the wee hours. Chuckling at your notes to self. Have a marvellous Monday.
Best wishes Molly
Note to self: that’s why I boxed trained my little man! LOL! The only thing that ever gets me out of bed, and robs me of that precious slumber is: “mama, there’s a spider, can you get it?” I oblige every time! 😉
Your notes to self are important. Do you remember them when you wake up, because I’m pretty sure you’re sleepwalking out there….
I thought it was only me who thought like that! So next time you get woken in the night you will grab a torch, shoes, coat and the back pack which is sat by the door which contains survival blanket, maps, GPS tracker, poo bags, treats, hot drinks, pruning shears… careful you don’t forget to take the dog :0)
Katie and I never need to go out at night. Bailie sleeps through the night except when Katie pukes and has diarrhea all over downstairs which wakes Bailie up. Just in case Mom has all her gear right by the door until Bailie is a bit older. Mom is known for being the weird neighborhood dog lady, and being out on the street in pjs in the middle of the night when it is below zero we are sure only adds to her weirdness! Oddly, Bailie has slept in bed since night one but the night she graduated from Obedience 1 last week she started sleeping in her bed on the floor and doesn’t want to sleep in bed any more. It kind of makes Mom sad and nervous. Now she won’t know if Bailie gets up. Glad you didn’t fall and land face first in dog poo!
LOL and I bet after all of that there was no more sleep to be had by you that night!
Just like the two legged kids – the four legged kids know who will really take care of them 😉
You are hilarious! Scout always wakes me up, never hubby. I have often wondered why he picks me and not him? I’m lucky that we have a big fenced in backyard so I don’t have to go out with him! And if he takes too long, I leave him out because he can go in and out of the sunroom. You are braver than me. I would be afraid to go outside in the middle of the night without a fenced in backyard!
WE have a SAFE PEN … Fenced Area that we go in… when it is NIGHT TIME… We have a LIGHT that comes on when we are in there… so we can SEE and BE seen… and It is all VERY much good…
Oh I hate those nights!!!!
I know exactly how you feel. And I got me a WHOLE bunch of “note to self” also!
Have I done any of them? ummm……maybe one…..or two……eek
LOL
((husky hugz))
Frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky
I sometimes have those early morning or middle of the night forays too. Torrey will bounce by the door. If I’m awake, I hear it. Thankfully, it’s not so dramatic to take them out. I do have to be outside in the pitch black dark though. And Torrey goes as far as she can to potty. This can be a little scary when i know there are coyotes out there.
LOL – been there, done that. Since the bear arrived in our neck of the woods a year or so ago, walking Bella in the overnight hours has become a rather intimidating venture. Now I take her out in the back area that is at least lightly fenced (not enough to keep out bear but enough to keep Bella from charging into the woods after one) and well-lit (mostly). I still take her out on a leash in the wee dark hours but feel a little safer doing so.
OMG!! I can SO relate to this post! I, too, am the dedicated mama who gets “the look”, the whine in the ear, etc., when Callie or Shadow have to go out during the night. Thankfully, it hasn’t happened in a LONG time. Ducky even sleeps through the night in her crate. (Just wish she would sleep a little later on the weekends.) BUT if it were to start again, I would still be the one they come to. And I’d still be the one to get up, pull on a pair of jeans and socks, and take them outside. But when one has to “go”, the other two have hissy fits that would wake the dead if I don’t take them along. Thank God for a fenced-in back yard!
OMG!! I can SO relate to this post! I, too, am the dedicated mama who gets “the look”, the whine in the ear, etc., when Callie or Shadow have to go out during the night. Thankfully, it hasn’t happened in a LONG time. Ducky even sleeps through the night in her crate. (Just wish she would sleep a little later on the weekends.) BUT if it were to start again, I would still be the one they come to. And I’d still be the one to get up, pull on a pair of jeans and socks, and take them outside. But when one has to “go”, the other two have hissy fits that would wake the dead if I don’t take them along. Thank God for a fenced-in back yard!
The things we do for you guys! BOL
Lily
😀 I’m the one the dogs will pester too. I have a fenced yard so the only time I have to go out with them is during Maya’s poop schedule. Yes, she has a schedule. I let them out first thing and she’s learned that we’re not going inside to eat breakfast until she poops. If she doesn’t go poop on her walk in the afternoon, then 4-6pm is when her next poop is due. I don’t have to worry about putting Pierson on a poop schedule since he doesn’t eat his own poop, just Maya’s. I can wait to pick up his poop some other time.
Ba ha ha ha ha! Oh Jodi Stone, we are so very very alike. I taught my dogs to potty in a very specific area of the yard to minimize pick up stress. I’ve stood outside in the cold making “notes to myself”, most of which are promptly forgotten as soon as I have unthawed and crawled back into bed.
Haha! Oh my gosh. Luckily my dog never seems to have to go potty at night unless it’s an absolute emergency. In those few instances, he comes up to me huffing and puffing and whining, like, “Let’s go! NOW!”
Do you ever weigh the cost of installing new flooring against the pain, misery and looming death caused by going out at 4;30?
Sounds like a great “To do” list. Like you, it’s always ME Elka comes to if she needs something, day or night.
Bwaaah! I was with you all the way as you wandered round your backyard waiting for Sampson to perform! Do ‘notes to self’ work? Probably not! Best to make sure he goes before retiring for the night methinks!
Yeah, thinking “turnout pen” (whatever that is exactly) might be a good idea! That should eliminate at least a couple of your potential problems – like being found frozen to death in a snowbank.)
That was very funny, but I feel badly about giggling. You are a good, dedicated momma!
hahaha! I can so relate to this since I’ve been having to go out with Leroy, but I’m not wandering down hills because we have a fenced yard, thank god we have a fenced yard!
Hahaha, loved your notes to self. Your thoughts are a lot like the thoughts I would’ve had, haha. I finally remembered to actually start carrying a roll of poop bags in my coat pocket and it’s very handy. 😉
Petal rarely needs to go out in the middle of the night unless she’s sick or I forgot to let her out before bed. We have a dog run for quick potty breaks. I put her out and then watch her from the window. If it’s freezing by said window, I go back to the warm bed and set a loud five minute timer to remind me to bring Petal back in, just in case I start drifting.
lol, love the notes to self! You are so dedicated and follow directions well. Me on the other hand I was told to keep MK in a crate for the next 2 weeks and the next day she was running amuck jumping on stuff. I give you a lot of credit. I believe Sampson would lay down next to you and keep you warm so you don’t freeze to death out there. 🙂
LOL! Thanks for making me laugh my ass off. I can SO relate! And yes, weird shit like that go through my head too. 🙂
This had me laughing hysterical tonight! Been there, done that, it’s a dreaded feeling when they first wake you up and you know whats in store, cause Princess won’t give up till she goes out!! But then again, I’m in Florida and don’t have to brave the snow and freezing night weather!! Phone’s a good idea!
LOL – note to self, always bring a little recorder for “notes to self” 🙂
That is certainly a good plan 🙂
Ha ha ha! I’m sorry! Why do they always do this to us when it’s either freezing out or downpouring?
Our turnout pen is a pretty standard size 6×8 feet and you can get them at most farm stores ready to assemble!
Hahahaha!! I hope you were able to take a nap!
Awww….sorry you had to go out there with him. I totally understand ALL of those thoughts, which is why when someone has to go in the middle of the night (usually Toby) I send Nick. Also, he ALWAYS has to go out with Toby, because Toby likes to relieve himself, have himself a “homemade” snack, and then stand in the middle of the yard stargazing. 🙂
Is does seem to be a trend that Mommys get stuck with late night potty breaks. Prince does not bother my husband anymore because he will ignore and sleep through it. There is no way I can sleep through his pacing and whining. I have to admit though, we do not have the snow and cold weather you do so it is not quite as bad. I do not have to worry about falling in a snow bank and freezing to death.
Enjoyed the post and it made me smile … thanks!