I’m not a big fan of reality TV.
Except for that one season I watched the Bachelorette, I could care less if Ice Loves Cocoa, Harry Loves Lisa or if I’m Keeping up with the Kardashians. Really, before the show, just who the hell were the Kardashians anyway? And someone, ANYONE tell me why do I need to keep up with them?
I know a lot of people are enjoying some kind of puppy cam, or eagle cam or bear cam, (I’m not exactly sure) and while I think small animals are adorable, and could really sit and watch puppies play all day long, I think people would get quite a bit of amusement watching Delilah’s Reality Show.
I mean let’s face it Delilah is amusing, she has her own mind set and does pretty much what she wants, plus she’s funny as hell.
The real amusement however would come from the human’s reactions.
Let me set the scene.
It’s Saturday afternoon, I have two 10 pound bags of chicken necks defrosting in the sink. I’ve already chipped away at one and pulled off about three pounds, which have been bagged and refrozen for future breakfasts for Sampson and Delilah.
As I am want to do when I have too many ‘to do’ items on my list, I stop one thing and wander off to do another. In this case it was to swap out a load of laundry.
As I’m putting the last piece from the washer into the dryer I have a sudden thought, “I’m going to go out and catch Delilah with her face in the sink, doing her damndest to grab herself a chicken neck.
I giggled slightly to myself at the thought.
I step out of the bedroom and look towards the sink, but there is no Chocolate Lab there staring back at me. I take three tentative steps towards the living room and that’s when I see her.
Gnawing on the frozen lump of chicken necks on my living room carpet.
Now I don’t care what anyone tells you, but when you come out of your bedroom and find your dog has removed SEVEN POUNDS OF FROZEN CHICKEN NECKS from your kitchen sink and is eating them on your living room rug, your first thought is not, “Let me grab my camera and take a picture.”
Oh no.
Believe it or not, it’s not your second thought either.
I’m sorry if that disappoints you, but I’m human after all and my first thought was OH MY GOD, she’s eating raw chicken necks on my rug!
On. My. Rug.
My second (coherent, printable thought) was, I must stop her, so I screamed, “DELILAH!”
She turned and looked at me then whipped her head back around working all that much harder to gather whatever bit of juicy goodness that she could before I took her treasured prize away.
I on the other hand, had turned into one of those “Here’s Your Sign” people, I screamed “What the Fuck?” and then “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Like I really expected her to answer me.
In case you’re wondering, she didn’t.
After I managed to pull her away from the chicken necks, I did snap a photo.
Seven pounds of chicken necks on my carpet.
I loaned my crate out to someone for a new puppy so I didn’t have it to put her in. I know, I know you are not supposed to use the crate for punishment but on rare occasions I do. Dragging seven pounds of chicken necks through my house constitutes punishment.
Whatever, judge me if you will, you don’t live with this dog.
So since I did not have the jail to incarcerate her in crate, I made her sit on the couch until she was sorry.
She’s still sitting there.
When I see something I want I go after it. Saturday I wanted chicken necks.
Come on, she’s a freakin’ lab, she’s not sorry!
See what I mean about the real amusement coming from the human’s reactions? If she’d had a camera like Miss Meadow does, she might have actually captured the look on my face, in that brief but shining moment she turned around to look at me.
What’s the craziest thing your dog has ever done?
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Sorry we laughed and we actually needed that this morning. Thank you and sorry about your rug. Naughty D. Have a wonderful Wednesday.
Best wishes Molly
I’m not laughing at you, more laughing with you!
Now THAT’S funny!! OMG, D, you are so big and strong! I am impressed and jealous. I’m too tiny to steal ANYTHING around here, let alone drag it to a rug and slobber all over it. You’re my idol!
Love and licks,
Cupcake
My mom uses that same four letter language at home when we do something really bad too, it seems to make her feel better. I wouldn’t blame her for eating the chicken on the carpet. Think about it, would you want to enjoy such a find on a hard floor or somewhere comfortable? Same reason we always throw up on the carpet right next to the hard flooring. You humans can be so picky sometimes 😉 In the end, it must be the fault of the human for leaving such a temptation unguarded. This stuff happens at my house but honestly, it is normally my cat bro Bert that is the criminal, although, I can see Bailie teaming up with him very soon.
Oh yeah, she’s not one bit sorry…lol. I guess she saw her opportunity and went for it. 🙂
She will be sitting there a long long time. Labs are never, ever sorry.
The beauty of Medi’s collar cam is I can delete photos before putting them on the internet…not that I ever lose my cool or curse at my own dogs of course. 😉
LOL! she’s still sitting there!!
BaaaaaWaaaah…. Way to go Delilah. We know your mom wasn’t as thrilled as she SHOULD have been. She should think of how RESOURCEFUL and SELF RELIANT you are. RIGHT??????????????????????????
Well, time to get hardwood floors then. 🙂
I’ve wondered that about the Kardashians too, btw.
She’s a lady who knows what she wants. 🙂
I wouldn’t see the crate as “punishment” but more like “this is where I am putting you so you are not in my way while I attempt to clean chicken neck from my rug” 🙂
I am waiting to enter the day 11 giveaway. There is something wrong with the widget and it says it’s closed already with only 7 entries. Jen is aware and is trying to get a hold of Jodi to fix it. I’ll keep checking back for sure!
LOL, I would have asked the same question of the dog. And probably got the exact same response.
Love it! Gambler has done his share and he jumped on the counter to grab my bread while my egg was frying so I have a food bandit too. He stole a whole packaged frozen roast and carried it onto the couch and nawed away on it.
Oh, heavens, I just laughed until I almost cried. Labs are usually a little too mellow for me, but Delilah is definitely not!
I hope you have some good carpet cleaner.
ROFL! Bad Delilah! Bad! I am very blessed in that Maya & Pierson do not take stuff off the counters or get into the trash. I’ve accidentally left yummy stuff on the counters within their reach. And if they really wanted to get into the trash can, they could. I don’t question why it is they don’t do these things. I am just grateful that they don’t.
OH MY GOD! I can just see her looking at you and then going back to the bones as fast as she can! I would have probably yelled the same thing. 😉 Naughty girl!!
Having suffered through the aftermath of many a Chester-caper at my house, I’m betting that photo doesn’t even do justice on the damaged carpet. Yeesh. Delilah, good thing we love you! Lol
Reason #235 that I have small dogs who can’t reach a counter or sink. You really should try to peddle your Lab as reality star to the networks. She’s funnier than anything that is on right now.
I think that if Delilah is sorry, is it because she didn’t have time to eat it all up BoL.
Oh Delilah. Hope she wasn’t sick after gorging! At our house, Onyxx would do that if he could get away with it (very short and not a good jumper). Mr. N? I think he probably would be good. I’ve left him in the car before with packages of meat and aside from sniffing it, he left it alone.
OMD – laughing so hard! Of course she’s not sorry, she’s a Lab. Bwaaahaaahaha! Actually she is sorry … sorry that you took the chicken necks away.
I used to feed my cats on a table on what we call the back porch (it’s a room off the kitchen all enclosed) and one of the dogs was helping them selves, but I couldn’t figure out who.
One day I left to go run errands when I went back into the house to grab my sunglasses. As I walked in the door, I could hear someone out there chomping on cat food. Ah ha, now I had the culprit! I started into the kitchen when my lab, Torri, came running around the corner. She skidded to a stop, looked at me and then spit a whole mouthful of cat food all over the floor and took off past me. I hadn’t said a word the whole time, but I was trying not to laugh. It was just the funniest spit take ever.
Those labs.
OMG, your crazy dog. I don’t know that Labs are never sorry. I do know they will eat everything every time ever change they get. So D was really only living up to her heritage. 😉
LMAO! I love Delilah and I love the way you told this story!
I can’t even beging to list the WTF moments I’ve had with Leroy, it’s almost an everyday occurrence!
OMD, that’s hysterical! Rita is just such a calm, sweet baby. I’ve got nuthin that can even come close to comparing. I’m afraid I can’t even think of a crazy thing she’s done!
You’ve already heard the story of how 16 year old Agatha got a loaf of bread off the top of the fridge. But I read an amazing story of a border collie who got a rotisserie chicken out of the fridge, carried it into the living room, and ate it, all without getting any grease on the carpet.
If i ever find the story again, I’ll let you know. You’ve gotta get that border collie to teach Delilah her tricks. At least if she’s gonna counter surf, it will save your carpet.
I don’t think she was sorry at all. She saw an opportunity and took it. Is she still sitting there? LOL You are starting to make me nervous about getting a lab mix puppy….none of our dogs have every done anything like that. 🙂
Thanks for your reply on my blog reassuring me, Jodi, and for the nice things you said! I was just a bit nervous…we actually had a lab mix 9 years ago and she was a very good girl. We also got her at 8 weeks. I am really looking forward to having another lab mix, and I am sure it’s going to be lots of fun! 🙂